


And now, in my dreams, I can feel the way, I can just come clean

by MarsBar2019



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Begging, Blow Jobs, Coming In Pants, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hot Tub Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Makeup Sex, Marking, Massage, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Multiple Orgasms, OR IS IT MORE, Oral Sex, Pillow Talk, Praise Kink, Sexual Fantasy, Squirting, Strap-Ons, Trans Male Character, Trans Mollymauk Tealeaf, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, no beta we die like men, talk Zemnian to me, we stan service top caleb widogast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:53:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsBar2019/pseuds/MarsBar2019
Summary: Molly comes to Caleb with a surprising request.(8/26 edit: not smutty but gratuitously fluffy epilogue!)(8/27 edit: just adding an end note!)
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 129
Kudos: 644





	1. How long can you hold your breath?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually write Molly as trans but I'm exercising some different writing muscles. LMK if there's anything that feels wrong or off about my writing of him! I use "male coded" language to talk about his genitals.

“Caleb? Can I talk to you?”

Caleb turned from the bookshelf at the sound of his voice and saw Molly standing in the library, next to his desk. The tiefling’s face was ghostly pale, his eyes wide with concern. Caleb felt worry spread through him, icy and sharp-edged.

“Yes, of course, Mollymauk,” he replied, laying the books he had collected down on the library’s couch. “What is wrong?” Molly ran a hand over his face and recomposed himself, his expression calm, cool and collected as ever.

“Well, I have a bit of a problem,” Molly said, his tone just a touch too casual to be sincere. “And I’m hoping maybe you could, er, help me out. Just, you know, one friend to another.” Caleb furrowed his brow.

“I can certainly try. What is this about?” Molly wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Is Nott here? Or Yeza?” Caleb took a few steps towards the lab area of the library to check and shook his head.

“No, they are not here. What is going on, Mollymauk?” Molly pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Okay, well, I have, I suppose, a favor to ask of you, and you know you can say no, and no hard feelings, I really mean it, but I hope you can help me out, as a friend, I mean-“ Caleb strode over to Molly and put both hands on the other man’s shoulders.

“ _Molly.”_

“I’m going into heat,” Molly blurted. Caleb felt his cheeks flush instantly and his pulse hammer in his ears. He dropped his hands from Molly’s shoulders.

“O-oh,” was all he could think to say. Molly was shifting uncomfortably, not meeting his gaze again. Caleb took a fraction of a moment to gather his thoughts. _This must be very embarrassing for Mollymauk, he needs something from you. Focus._ He wasn’t entirely sure the tiefling felt much approaching embarrassment, but if he did, this was it. “And, ah, how can I assist you with - with that? Are you seeking a spell, or something that might be able to ease it? I am sure I have something here that might alleviate that for you-“

Back in the familiar terrain of spells and books, Caleb’s shoulders relaxed. His mind started whirring with what he knew of that might help Molly, books that he had in his shelves. _Conjurations for the Wizard?_ Hmm, maybe. _New Summoning?_ That one might just be smut. _Charms for Apprentices_? Probably not. Oh, but he did think he might have some notes in _The Capital’s Early Economic Histories_ about the biology of tieflings, marginalia based on a conversation he’d overheard between- Molly’s hand on his arm stopped him from turning away.

“That’s not it, Caleb, wait- I - fuck, I really was trying to be casual about this. I need a…different kind of help.” Caleb raised his eyebrows, unsure if Molly was asking for what he thought he was. Nerves fluttered in his stomach.

“Yes?” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“I need, uh, well, I need a companion. To…stay with me during the heat. And help, uh. With sex. But it’s not just about me! I’ll make it good for you too! You can say no!” Molly put both hands up, as if to reassure him. Before his brain could catch up, Caleb nodded. Even if Caleb had wanted to take it back, the relief that visibly washed over Molly would have stopped him. _He’s asking for your help. He trusts you. Don’t muck it up, asshole._

“Why me, though?” Caleb couldn’t help but ask. “I mean surely, someone else-“

“Such as?” Molly asked with an eyebrow raised. “If I asked Fjord for something like this I think he’d dissolve out of sheer embarrassment. And I don’t think Caduceus has ever slept with anyone before, so I’d hate to introduce him to the wonderful world of sex with my insane behavior when I’m in heat.” Right. He was the only practical option. _What were you expecting him to say?_

“Not to mention, you’re no chore to look at.” Molly grinned with a wink and Caleb felt himself flush again. “And from what I’ve seen at the baths…I have to say, I’ve heard quite a few stories about firbolgs and goliaths, but nobody ever told me Zemnians were so well-endowed.” Caleb didn’t think he could blush harder; he fidgeted, unsure where to put his hands, his eyes.

“Ah, well I hope I will not disappoint you, Mollymauk, I assure you I am perfectly average in every respect.” Molly hopped up to sit on the edge of the desk with a laugh.

“I am certain you could never disappoint me, Mister Caleb.”

“But, ah, I hope I am not being indelicate by asking, I am not so familiar with tiefling biology, are you able to, uh, become pregnant?”

“Why, you wanna knock me up?” Molly flashed that winning smile again, the tips of his fangs peeking over his bottom lip. Caleb’s heart flipped, nerves alight in his stomach.

“N-no, I am rather hoping to avoid that.”

“Just as well, love, I’m not sure the world can handle another me,” Molly sighed, flipping his hair back dramatically. That made Caleb smile and relax a little. This was the Molly he was accustomed to, theatrical, outrageous, flirty, delighted to make Caleb squirm.

“Would you like to sit on the couch?” he asked, gesturing awkwardly, as if Molly were a guest in his house. “Perhaps we should, ah, discuss the details.”

Molly sauntered over to the couch, and Caleb jumped when he passed, feeling the spade of a tail brush up the back of his thigh. _Oh._ He’d rather forgotten the tail.

“So, to answer your question,” Molly sighed, stretching out. “No, I can’t get pregnant. I take a tincture for that.”

Caleb nodded. Contraceptives were readily available in the Empire and not unfamiliar to him, but he didn’t fancy repeating the less pleasant memories of his youth: rushing off to an apothecary at the break of dawn for a “morning after” potion, his anxious heart beating in his ears like hummingbird wings, or stealing into a shop on his way to a highly anticipated secret rendezvous with a duke’s daughter, only to find that they were clean out of the single use tinctures that were all he could afford. Caleb had resisted the desire to make a move, knowing full well that impregnating a daughter of the Rexxentrum aristocracy was a one way ticket to prison on false pretenses for a farm boy from Blumenthal like him.

“I suppose you’re wondering what to expect,” Molly said, a statement rather than a question, breaking through Caleb’s thoughts.

“I - yes,” Caleb finished lamely.

“Well, there’s a few things you should know. First, I think we should find a place to stay for a few days. Just you and me. I’d prefer to be discreet about this as possible.”

 _You’re the only practical choice. He doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s going to bed with you._ Somehow, Molly saw the thought flit across Caleb’s face.

“Not because of anything to do with you, love,” Molly reassured, placing his hand over Caleb’s. “I just…get kind of weird at this time. I’d rather nobody else have to know that. Which I guess is the next thing. I’m gonna be weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“My body doesn’t know that it’s not making babies. So sorry if the dirty talk gets weird. And I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but I can be rather shameless when I want something,” Molly said with a grin and a cat-like stretch. Caleb smiled.

“That _is_ quite a strain on the imagination.” Molly began tracing patterns on Caleb’s forearm. He looked back up at him through lowered lashes. _Fuck…_ Caleb knew Mollymauk was attractive, well before the tiefling had wandered into the library to proposition him. But now that the other man was in his reach, and Caleb could easily picture whispering sweet nothings in Molly’s ear, burying himself in Molly’s cunt, curling up next to him, panting and spent - now every movement sent lightning through his skin, every touch burned against him like drops of candle wax.

“I suppose I mean to say that when I want you to fuck me senseless, I’ll do whatever I have to do to get it. I think you’ll find I beg very prettily.” He tossed that wicked grin at Caleb again and the wizard swallowed, hard. His cock was definitely taking interest now.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t say no,” Molly said, flirtatiousness gone. “Just that I’ll try _very_ hard to convince you to say yes. And I’m sorry, in advance, for that, I know it’s not pleasant.” Caleb shook his head.

“It’s not your fault. I understand. If I want to say no, I will do so.” _As if you would ever want_ _to say no to him._ Molly’s fingers switched from tracing patterns to lightly stroking over Caleb’s arm, sending shivers of delight through him.

“What do you need? What can I do to make it good for you?” Molly asked, his gaze intense.

“Oh, I should be fine, so long as I have my books, I’ll have plenty to do in the, uh, off time-“

“That isn’t what I meant,” Molly laughed. He raised himself up on his knees and swung one leg over Caleb’s, settling himself on the wizard’s lap. Caleb’s cock was starting to stiffen in his trousers and he tried to shift so Molly wouldn’t notice, but it was too late. His blood was rushing to his face and he was sure he was beet red with surprise and arousal. Molly’s lips were at his ear, his breath hot and voice husky.

“I meant, Mister Caleb, what do you _like_? What turns you on? I don’t want to be the only one cumming all weekend….”

A soft moan escaped Caleb’s lips, his breath short in his chest. Molly began laying maddeningly soft kisses over Caleb’s neck and jaw.

“Let me think…what does Caleb Widogast think about when he strokes himself off, hmm? You know, I used to think you were the type who liked to be pushed around, teased until someone _made_ you beg for it….” Caleb turned to meet Molly’s lips with his, taking them in a hot, wanting kiss. He reached around with his free hand and grabbed Molly’s ass, just hard enough to make the tiefling jump.  
  
“Did you now?” he growled, enjoying the way Molly rolled his hips against him.

“Yes,” Molly sighed, leaning back down to worry Caleb’s ear between his teeth. “But now I think I’ve had you wrong. Now I’m not sure what you like. Why don’t you tell me?” Caleb was emboldened by the clear arousal of the tiefling in his lap, and brought both hands around to Molly’s chest running his hand over planes of muscle, tantalizingly hidden beneath linen.

“Well, I certainly know I like to kiss you,” Caleb breathed, slowing the stroking of his hands. “I think I could do that all night long and never tire of it. I like taking my time…I want to explore every inch of you, Mollymauk, if you’ll let me, appreciate every part and make you feel good. I want to taste you. I enjoy spreading my lover’s legs and losing myself there.”

By now, he was practically panting in Molly’s ear, hard as a rock, and Molly was grinding his hips and sighing in a way that let Caleb know he was more than just aroused. Caleb grinned and put his hand between them, pressing his thumb where he thought Molly’s cock might be. The sharp intake of breath told him he was right.

“So needy for me…are you going to cum in your pants like a teenager, Mollymauk?” he teased softly, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

“ _Yes_ , godsdammit, if you don’t stop-“

“I am not going to stop,” he hissed in Molly’s ear, “unless you tell me otherwise.”

“ _Don’t stop_ ,” Molly choked, and Caleb grinned, continuing massaging Molly’s cock through his pants.

“Oh, _Schatz_ , you want it so bad…I can imagine how good you’ll feel when I get you to bed, I can’t wait to get my fingers inside you…. I want to know how much you can take, how much I can give you…how many times I can make you cum with just my fingers in you.”

“Ohhhh, fuck,” Molly moaned softly, and Caleb took his mouth in another filthy kiss, his tongue sliding past Molly’s lips.

“You feel so good in my lap, you pretty little thing, teasing me with your body like that…I cannot wait to get you into bed so I can make you cum over and over and over again-“ Molly’s thighs suddenly clenched around Caleb’s hips and he collapsed against Caleb’s shoulder, shuddering and gasping. Caleb stroked his back through it, noting how the muscles clenched and released under his fingers as Molly came down off his orgasm. When Molly lifted himself up to meet Caleb’s gaze, his eyes were dark and hungry.

“Average my ass. We’re going to need to find that place sooner rather than later.”


	2. Can you count to ten? Can you let it pass?

The next morning over breakfast, Caleb abruptly announced that he and Molly would be leaving town for a few days, on a small errand for Essek Thelyss. Beau raised her eyebrows.

“What the fuck does he need you to do that for? Hasn’t he got, like, an army of people that work at that house of his?”

Caleb shrugged, keeping his eyes down on his plate. Caduceus had made a loaf of savory bread from the zucchinis and herbs in his garden and the texture of the bread was suddenly very interesting to Caleb while he felt Beau’s blue eyes burning into his head.

“It is somewhat sensitive. He needs me to retrieve a book from a scholar who is quite reclusive. He will not trust anyone with it who is not a fellow arcanist. I was free, so I offered to help.”

“And I’m the bodyguard,” Molly added with a grin, rolling up a sleeve to flex a sinewy muscle. Beau looked even more dubious. “I mean, it’s not like a human can just wander around Xhorhas on his own. I’m guessing we don’t want to have to ship out to save our poor Caleb from being sold into slavery, or the circus, or what have you.”

“We will only be gone for a few days. Three, maybe four. I can always message Nott or one of you if something goes awry. It is just a small errand, it is senseless to bring a whole troupe and would probably just make the man suspicious.”

The Essek connection was only partially false. After Molly had told him the night before that he thought he had another day, at most, before his heat really kicked in, Caleb had messaged Essek to call in a favor. With Molly’s permission, he had explained the situation and asked Essek if he knew where Molly might be able to rent a cottage or set of rooms to “wait it out”. Caleb learned that apparently, drow had heats of their own, and lodgings could be rented quite easily in Rosohna on short notice. It was only an hour before Essek messaged him back with an address on the other side of town, a price and instructions on finding the key.

“I’ve procured a small place for him on the other side of town, in the Gallimaufrey. It’s small, but it should do. He can pay me back when I see him next.”

“Really, Essek, I cannot thank you enough, Molly is very stressed-“

“Ah, yes, we all know it well. You humans are lucky that you don’t have to deal with this, you’re just fertile any time you feel like it. Short lifespans mean you have to sow your seeds while you have the chance, I suppose. Like fruit flies. Anyway, think nothing of it. I will see you when you return.”

Caleb stopped himself from asking why Essek thought he would be gone too.

In the morning, he thought that Molly already seemed a bit more fidgety than usual, tugging at his damp collar to cool himself. Caleb noticed that across from Molly, Caduceus inhaled almost imperceptibly and his ears flicked back and forth. He could probably smell the heat coming on. _You’ve got to get him out of here._

After breakfast, Caleb and Molly saddled up Jannik as quickly as they could without arousing suspicion. Just as Caleb was checking the reins on the grunting moorbounder, Caduceus slipped into the stable. Caleb’s stomach dropped with nerves, but Molly seemed at ease, so he let himself relax a little too. Caleb busied himself with Jannik while Caduceus and Molly whispered to one another, but he saw Caduceus hand a sack to Molly, and then a much smaller pouch with a few murmured words. Molly hooted with laughter before clapping a hand over his mouth and bringing Caduceus in for a quick hug.

“What was that about?” Caleb asked once they were out on the path to the road, the rest of the Nein waving goodbyes from the Xhorhaus.

“Why, Mister Caleb, do I detect a hint of jealousy?” Molly teased, looping his hands around Caleb’s narrow waist when they were out of sight. Caleb blushed.

“No, of course not,” he replied. “I am merely curious.” He led Jannik through the rural outskirts of Rosohna, circumventing the city walls, rather than try to ride a moorbounder through the crowded streets of the inner city. In addition to the logistical headache, there was much more of a chance that they’d be spotted, heading decidedly away from where Caleb had told the Nein they were going.

“Firbolgs have heats too,” Molly explained, his chin on Caleb’s shoulder. He was warmer than usual, Caleb noticed. “I swear that perceptive bastard probably smelled it on me before even I knew it was coming. He sent us with a sack of food for our “trip” and gave me a pouch with some goodies in it.”

“To end your heat?” Caleb felt a stab of disappointment and then intense shame. _All the better if he can stop it early and avoid the unpleasant side effects. Don’t be a selfish prick._ Molly snorted.

“I’m afraid that isn’t possible, but he gave me some tea that he says will help with the sweats and sleeplessness. And a little something for your, ah, endurance.” Molly nipped his shoulder teasingly and Caleb had to shake his head to force himself to pay attention to keeping Jannik on the road.

“Mollymauk it is no wonder Beauregard never lets you sit up front when she’s driving the cart,” Caleb said, pretending to be more stern than he felt. “You are quite a distraction.” Molly laughed.

“Something tells me you find me distracting in a different way than Beauregard.” Caleb rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile.

“Perhaps, but unless you want Jannik to take us right down a well, I need to focus.” He reached back with one hand and rubbed Molly’s knee affectionately. _Is that okay? Is that too intimate?_ The thought felt ridiculous given that he expected to spend the next three days in bed with Molly, but that was a _favor_. Just helping a friend. Nothing intimate, emotionally speaking. Molly didn’t stiffen or shrink away from his hand, so he thought maybe, the touch was okay.

“Mollymauk?” he asked after a few minutes. This talk might be a bit easier when he was keeping his eyes forward, not thinking about where to put his eyes or his hands or what his face ought to be doing.

“Yes, darling?”

“Do you have a moment to talk?”

“No, I’m quite busy right now,” Molly quipped. “Obviously, yes, I have a moment to talk. What’s wrong?” he asked, sensing the hesitation in Caleb’s voice.

“Well, I am not sure how to ask these questions. After you left the library last night I spent half the night up reading, because, ah, I have never been with someone…like you. Well, I do not think that there is anyone in the world quite like you.” Caleb’s soft laugh masked the pounding in his ears and the nerves twisting up his stomach. Molly started stroking his thighs in a soothing rhythm.

“You’re asking about my body.” It wasn’t a question.

“I - yes, I suppose.”

“I trust you’re familiar enough with these parts,” Molly teased, though Caleb detected a hint of nerves in his voice too.

“It is not that,” Caleb replied. “I just do not want to accidentally do anything that would be insulting to you, or hurtful. Are there any things I should, ah, not do, or say? Things that would make you uncomfortable?” Molly was quiet for a moment behind him and Caleb’s pulse quickened with every second of silence.

“It is good of you to ask,” he said softly. Caleb squeezed Molly’s knee again in silent affirmation. “Well, since you’ve got eyes in your head I’m guessing you’ve noticed I haven’t got tits,” he continued, back to his usual blithe self.

“Ja, I did,” Caleb replied.

“My nipples are still sensitive. I didn’t really like having them touched and played with before, but I do now. I pierced ‘em actually, after, kind of to celebrate, and that makes the sensation more intense.” Caleb’s brain shorted out with the image, and all he could do was nod in assent, his cheeks hot. The times he had seen Molly shirtless, he hadn’t let his gaze linger, so the piercings were news to him. Molly’s fingers continued to play over his legs, tracing nonsense patterns with soft fingers.

“So it is okay to touch your chest?” Caleb asked.

“Oh I certainly hope you will,” Molly purred.

“What about, um, I mean, what may I call your…other parts?” Caleb asked, blushing. He’d been whispering filthy things in Molly’s ear to bring him to orgasm in his lap not a day before, but now he was suddenly shy. Molly chuckled.

“You seem a bit embarrassed, Mister Caleb.”

“Forgive me, I am not accustomed to talking about these things so…bluntly.” Growing up, he wasn’t taught to feel ashamed of sex, precisely, but he certainly was taught that it was private. Talk of bodies and pleasure and orgasms was not conducted so casually, if at all. His father had explained “the facts of married life,” as he put it, when Bren was approaching his teenage years, a conversation the elder Ermendrud rushed through with averted eyes and a red face. The only other time the topic had been raised by either of his parents was before he left for the Academy. His father had sat him down and explained that he expected that Bren might find someone while he was in “the city”, a girl he wanted to settle down with - Bren hadn’t bothered to inform his father that he might not end up with a woman at all - and that he had been putting away a bit of extra coin, scarce as it was, in case that happened.

“Of course you’ll have the farm,” his father had said gruffly. “Your mother and I can move to the bottom floor of the house. Plenty of space to start a family. If, you know, things don’t work out with the Academy.” Bren couldn’t bear to say that he aspired to more, that he didn’t expect to return to the farm after he finished at the Academy.

“So be careful while you’re out there, son. Don’t throw all that away.” His father gave him a meaningful stare. Bren looked back quizzically. “Don’t knock anyone up unless you intend to marry her,” his father said bluntly. Bren had blushed and sputtered, but his father simply pressed a dusty vial of eggplant colored liquid into his hand. “Just keep that between us men, alright? Mama doesn’t need to know.”

“Caleb?” Molly’s voice brought him back, the grip of Molly’s hands on his hips grounding him and pulling him back from that dangerous precipice of memory.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head to clear it. “You were saying?”

“You asked what words you should use. I don’t like all the flowery language. Don’t call it a pussy, that just makes me think of Frumpkin.” Caleb let out a laugh before he could help himself. “It’s just a cunt. Call it that if you’ve got to call it anything. It’s a cock, or a dick, not a clit. Yeah?” Caleb nodded.

“Of course. I want you to be comfortable with me, Mollymauk. If there is anything I can do to make that happen, or if I am doing anything wrong, please tell me, ja? I would not forgive myself if I hurt you in some way.” Molly rested his cheek against the back of Caleb’s shoulder. A horn was digging into Caleb’s skin uncomfortably, but he had no intention of moving away.

“Thanks,” Molly replied quietly. “You know, um, this is a pretty vulnerable time for me. I usually don’t have anyone with me when I’m going through it.” Caleb almost turned his head back to look at Molly in surprise, but forced himself to keep his eyes on the road so as not to run Jannik into a ditch. From what he’d read last night, tiefling heats were like anyone else's, nasty if they went unsatisfied, bordering on painful. Imagining Molly huddled in his quarters at the circus, by himself, sweating and shaking, muscle spasms wracking his body, made Caleb nauseous.

“You go through it _alone_?”

“I have in the past, yeah. Didn’t have anyone I trusted enough to ask for help.” A lump formed in Caleb’s throat, stunned at the realization, obvious though it may have been before, that Molly trusted _him_ enough to ask for help. _Liar, murderer, thief, charlatan -_ and Molly still wanted him around to go through this with him. He reached back over his shoulder and ran his fingers gently through Molly’s curls.

“Thank you. For trusting me.”

“Thanks for being worth trusting.”

~~~

As it was approaching evening, Caleb was hunched over the fireplace in the bedroom, trying to arrange the damp logs so they’d burn once he lit them. This was his fifth attempt; each time the logs burned for a moment and then fizzled, or one fell into another and squashed the nascent flame.

“ _You can send a 20 foot wide fireball at something 150 feet away but you can’t get a damned fireplace log to light_ ,” he muttered to himself in Zemnian. If only the fireplace (and half the house with it) needed to be obliterated in an inferno, then he’d have it.

“Playing with your wood, darling?”

He turned and saw Molly leaning in the door, a smirk on his face. Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Unsuccessfully, I am afraid.”

Molly came to him and put his hands on Caleb’s shoulders, kneading the bunched muscles softly. His skin was burning now, the intoxicating heat soaking into Caleb’s tired shoulders.

“I’m going to take a bath, if you’d like to join me?”

Caleb hesitated for just a moment. _No turning back now, Widogast._

“Ja, that sounds nice. I will meet you there in a moment.”

“Don’t make me wait too long, love,” Molly murmured in his ear, his hot breath on Caleb’s neck eliciting a shiver.

“I would not dare,” Caleb replied, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Just give me one more try with this fireplace. I promise I will be right behind you.” Molly pecked him on the cheek and sauntered off down the hall to the bathroom that they had seen earlier, containing a large soaking tub carved from granite. He gave one more valiant attempt at lighting the fire, but it just wouldn’t take. He swore colorfully at it in Zemnian and shoved off down the hall to join Molly.

When he entered, his heart jumped into his throat, seeing Molly stretched out in the tub. Molly clothed was an irresistible, charming, gorgeous creature; Molly nude was almost too much power to vest in the hands of one person. He was contemplating this deep injustice of the universe when Molly lifted a hand in question.

“Are you coming in, or are you just enjoying the view?” Caleb flushed and stepped over to undress at the bench where Molly’s clothes lay. As he took off his clothes, folding them neatly, he noticed Molly’s gaze following him. The tiefling’s red eyes raked over exposed, freckled skin, hungrier with each pass.

“I do not appear to be the only one enjoying a view,” Caleb teased, “though I think mine is far nicer.” Molly preened at the compliment, stretching out and showing off expanses of inked and scarred purple skin that covered taut planes of muscle.

He stepped into the bath, the scent of fresh herbs and warm spices wafting from the steaming water. Caduceus must have thoughtfully packed some of the bath oil he made for the house. Almost as soon as he sat on the granite bench of the tub, Molly was on him, legs thrown over his lap, arms around his neck.

“Ah, so, you are starting then?” Caleb stammered. _Smooth._ Molly grinned and pressed himself into the crook of Caleb’s arm.

“I’d say so,” he purred. “You ready?” Caleb’s brain was whirring at a hundred miles a minute, a million anxieties and uncertainties filling his thoughts. He took a deep breath. _Molly needs you._ Caleb looped one arm around Molly’s slim hips and pulled him up into his lap with a soft kiss. Molly’s mouth was warm and sweet and earthy, his lips parting easily to allow Caleb’s tongue to ghost over them.

“Ready as I will be, I think,” Caleb answered, intoxicated by the heat and the lust in Molly’s eyes, so close to him now. His pulse was hammering in his ears and he’d be blushing harder if his blood wasn’t rushing south, but he _wanted_ Molly more than he’d wanted anyone or anything in recent memory. Caleb lifted a hand to Molly’s cheek and drew him in for another kiss, his anxiety easing with every press of Molly’s lips. Molly was squirming already, endearing little moans and whimpers escaping him each time they parted. Caleb smiled and stroked Molly’s cheek softly.

“We have all the time in the world, _Schatz_. No need to rush, ja?” he murmured, nuzzling into Molly’s collarbone before he opened his mouth to suck a bruise under Molly’s jaw. Molly let out a throaty moan, his tail thrashing in the water behind him.

“But I want you…” he whined, stretching his neck to give Caleb more access.

“All in good time,” Caleb soothed. “You will have me. Let me take care of you.” He raised his head to check Molly’s face, searching for any hesitation or doubt, but found none. Molly’s wiggling in his lap was getting him hard already, but he did his best to ignore it. He wanted to please Molly, see his face light up again as he lost himself to pleasure like he had last night in the library. That feeling warmed him like mulled wine on a cold night and he chased it, leaving thoughts of his own arousal behind.

“May I touch your chest, _Liebling_?” Caleb asked, fingers playing around Molly’s collarbone.

“Please!” Molly replied, arching his back. He was already so worked up, and they’d hardly done anything. Caleb had a feeling he’d need that endurance potion Molly had mentioned. Caleb reached up and circled Molly’s nipple with light, teasing touches, continuing to kiss and suck at his neck. Molly encouraged him with small sighs of delight, his hands tangling in Caleb’s hair. He ran his fingers over the twin spiral barbells in Molly’s nipples, arousal warming in his belly at the gasps coming from Molly.

“You make such pretty noises for me,” Caleb whispered, his fingers sliding over hot, wet lavender skin. He bent to Molly’s chest and blew softly over his wet nipples, watching as goosebumps raised over his skin. Molly let out another gasp and tightened his fingers in Caleb’s hair, eliciting a surprisingly heated groan from the human. He pulled Molly closer and closed his lips around Molly’s nipple with a moan, the barbell heavy on his tongue.

“Oh gods, Caleb,” Molly moaned, carding his fingers through Caleb’s hair.

“Does that feel good?” Caleb murmured, rubbing circles on Molly’s hip with his thumb.

“Yes, please, I want that tongue all over me…” A bolt of arousal went straight to Caleb’s cock. _Fuck_ , that was hot.

“Anything you want, Molly.” He continued to play with Molly’s peaked nipples, sucking and teasing, but before long, Molly lifted his chin up to look at him.

“Please just touch me already!” Molly growled, his cheeks flushed.

“I thought I was touching you?” Caleb teased with a grin. “Did you want something else?” He let his fingers drift over Molly’s stomach, one arm still holding him firmly around the hips. “Here?” Caleb’s hands stroked over Molly’s thighs and reached around to grab a handful of his ass. “Is that what you want?”

“ _Touch my dick, godsdammit, Caleb-“_

“You are very bossy, you know that?” Caleb hummed, laying unhurried kisses over Molly’s neck and shoulders. He slid his hand over the planes of Molly’s stomach and down to just run his fingers through the soft curls, ghosting over the sensitive skin beneath.

“And you’re far too patient,” Molly griped, reaching between Caleb’s legs to take his cock in hand. Caleb’s hips jumped at the sudden contact, the pleasure of his touch even more intense in the warm water of the bath. Caleb let out a stuttering moan, leaning his head back on the edge of the tub and closing his eyes as Molly stroked him.

“Wait, wait, Molly-“ he managed. “Do not worry about me, let me make you feel good.” _And it’ll be pretty embarrassing if I can’t last before we’ve even gotten into bed._ Molly stopped stroking, but kept his hand on Caleb’s cock.

“Fine, but please get to it already,” Molly groaned, his hips rolling against Caleb’s leg in search of just a hint of friction.

“May I see you, _Schatz_? Would you sit up here for me?” Caleb patted the raised edge of the tub, wide enough to lay out on. Molly jumped up with a wide grin and seated himself on the side, legs dangling in the water. Caleb reseated himself facing Molly and started kissing Molly’s knees, his thighs, lips laying over every inch of ink and scar and lavender flesh he could reach. He looked up at Molly to gauge his expression, and Molly was looking down at him with so much tenderness his heart stopped in his chest.

“Is this alright?” he asked, running his hands over Molly’s legs.

“Yes, it’s more than alright,” Molly replied softly, his fingers playing with Caleb’s curls. Caleb smiled and nipped at Molly’s thigh, bringing his hands to Molly’s knees and pushing them apart gently. He kissed over soft, sensitive skin on the inside of Molly's thighs, inhaling Molly’s intoxicating scent, a perfume of juicy blueberries and sweet wine. Molly’s breath was coming shallow now, Caleb could feel it in the movement of his stomach under his hand, and Caleb dipped an exploratory finger between Molly’s folds. He was hot and incredibly slick, and Molly started moaning at the first glance of Caleb’s finger against his swollen, sensitive cock.

“You are gorgeous, Mollymauk,” Caleb breathed, leaning forward and closing his eyes as he ran his tongue over Molly’s sweet folds, his mouth and nose and thoughts full of _Molly, Molly, Molly._ Molly gasped and canted his hips forward to press closer to Caleb. Encouraged by Molly’s response, he brought his hands up to grip Molly’s hips and went to work with his tongue, lavishing attention over each swirl and ridge of Molly’s body. He pressed the tip of his finger into Molly’s passage and moaned around Molly’s cock when the muscle clenched around him.

“More, please, more…” Molly whined, leaning back on his elbows, his thighs trembling under Caleb’s hands. Caleb slid the rest of his finger into Molly’s slick heat, adding another when the first passed with almost no resistance. His cock ached, begging to be touched, but he ignored it, trying to keep his lust-drunk attention focused on Molly’s cock in his mouth, his fingers inside Molly. The delicious sounds of Molly’s pleasure, his moans and gasps, the obscene wet sounds of his fingers in Molly's passage, were going straight between his legs and he chased them, craving Molly’s wordless praise. Molly was so wet for him, so fucking wet, his inner thighs sticky with his own slick. Popping off Molly’s cock to stretch out his orgasm a little longer, Caleb slid his fingers in and out of Molly fluidly, crooking them just right to glance over his prostate. He loved the way Molly trembled under him when he did that, the changes in his breath and the way his walls clenched tight around his fingers. He could easily imagine that pressure around his cock, which was still so aching, so needy. Caleb reached down to palm himself briefly, just to take the edge off.

Sensing that Molly was close, but that he needed more, Caleb shifted his fingers that were inside Molly and swept his thumb through the slick on Molly’s folds, making sure it was covered. Keeping a careful eye on Molly’s expression, he let his thumb shift down to the small ring of muscle just below Molly’s hole. Placing the pad of his thumb firmly on it, giving just a bit of pressure, he paused to wait for Molly’s consent.

“Ohhh, _fuck_ , Caleb, _please_ ,” Molly cried, spreading his legs wider. That image was so erotic Caleb thought he could cum on the spot, but he refocused and pressed his thumb into Molly’s tight ass, a soft moan escaping his lips as Molly’s body accepted him. He held his thumb still but kept sliding his long fingers in and out of Molly’s tightness, feeling Molly’s beautiful noises - _ohh, fuck, yes, just like that, so full, oh Caaaaleb_ \- in his aching dick.

As Molly’s cries got higher and more urgent, Caleb leaned down and took Molly’s cock back in his mouth, sucking mercilessly until Molly fell apart in his hands, holes spasming, hips bucking, muscles trembling, and - best of all - shouting his name. Molly didn’t push his head away so he didn’t let up on Molly’s dick, pulling a second orgasm out of the shaking, gasping tiefling. After the second, Molly tangled his fingers in Caleb’s hair and gently pulled him away, oversensitive and still clenching around his fingers. With a shaky sigh, Caleb slowly removed his hand from Molly and splashed water on his face to rinse the slick from his beard. Molly was practically boneless on the edge of the tub, catching his breath. Caleb sat back against the granite, his cock still hard and wanting, but the urgency dimming with each passing moment. He stroked Molly’s arm softly, giving him space to recover. After just a few minutes, Molly sighed contentedly and slid into the tub next to Caleb, curling into the crook of his arm.

“Want me to take care of that for you?” Molly purred, gesturing to Caleb’s obvious erection. Caleb blushed, as if he hadn’t had his face buried between Molly’s thighs five minutes ago.

“No, do not worry. It will probably, ah, be better for us both if I do not finish just yet.”

“Already thinking about round two?” Molly teased.

“Only if you are,” Caleb replied with a grin, leaning his head back on the edge of the tub.

“I’m sure in an hour I will be. For now, though…that was really _fucking_ good.” Caleb looked back at Molly, stroking the tiefling’s shoulder blades.

“I am glad you enjoyed yourself,” he said. Caleb was content to sit here like this forever. The two stayed like that for a long while, until the bath started to cool.

“Are you hungry, _Liebling_?” Caleb murmured, giving Molly’s hand a squeeze before disentangling himself to exit the bath.

“Starved,” Molly said through a yawn. His eyes roved over Caleb’s body. “Though I think I already have an idea of what I’d like to get in my mouth.” Caleb rolled his eyes and chuckled as he dressed. He stepped back to the tub and placed a kiss on Molly’s head.

“I will see what Caduceus sent us with and make something. You have to eat while you are hungry, tomorrow you might not be. No rush, if you want to stay in here a bit longer.”

Molly flashed him another winning smile and stretched out.  
  
“I’ll see you downstairs in a bit, then, darling.” Caleb nodded and walked out into the hall, a lightness to his step he hadn’t felt in some time. The kitchen of this house had basic dry goods, but he was grateful to Caduceus for packing them some fresh food. In his panic to get Molly away from the rest of the group, to someplace safe and private, he hadn’t thought of that at all.

The sack was full of good things, meat and wine and onions, fish, bundles of thick mushrooms that Caduceus grew in the basement, soft cheese and berries from the garden. Caleb remembered a meal that Caduceus had prepared once that Molly especially loved, a special breakfast for Beau’s birthday. He’d brought out cranberry bread, pastries stuffed with sausage and fish, plenty of bacon and these thin pancakes wrapped around gooey cheese and raisins that Molly had praised endlessly. There were no raisins in the pack Caduceus had sent but there was sugar and flour in the pantry, and the pack contained a small wedge of soft, bloomy cheese, butter and fresh apricots. Caleb wasn’t the greatest of cooks, didn’t love it the way Caduceus did, but could manage a decent meal if given the right tools, and he thought that might work.

As he watched the first of the thin pancakes bubble in a pan on the stove, a wave of anxiety came over him. Molly had temporarily held it at bay, but now it was back. _Is this too domestic? Is this weird? Should I not be making him dinner? Well, it isn’t just for him, I’ll eat too. Am I crossing a boundary? Would it be better not to spend any time together except when Molly needs relief?_ Caleb felt sad at that thought but he didn’t want to be overbearing. This sudden wave of protectiveness over Molly, the desire to care for him and make him feel happy and safe, was surprising and a little scary to him. It made him happy to do something nice for Molly right now, in the midst of him going through something difficult, but the ease of slipping into this role was making his head spin. He didn’t want to assume that Molly felt the same illusion of domesticity; they had discussed that this would just be as friends. Caleb didn’t normally go around making Molly crepes “as friends”. _You also don’t normally go around eating Molly out as a friend._ He supposed he could be forgiven for getting his wires crossed a bit.

Molly padded into the room in a clean set of leggings and linen shirt, his normal house wear, and a set of the thick woolen socks that Jester had made everyone when the winter weather set in.

“Are you _cooking_?” Molly asked incredulously. Caleb flushed and kept his eyes on the stove.

“Ja, you said you were hungry.” Molly poured himself and Caleb a glass of the white wine he’d put in the ice box, and leaned against the counter. Caleb took a swig for courage.

“You’re spoiling me,” Molly teased, but Caleb thought he heard a hint of sincere feeling under the light tone. Caleb shrugged nonchalantly and took another sip of wine to give himself something to do other than stare at Molly.

“I know this is an unpleasant time for you. I just wanted to do something nice.”

“The fact that you’re here with me is something enough.” Molly’s look was intense, not letting him divert. Caleb felt like he was being taken apart under it, in a deeply uncomfortable way, as if Molly could see through him to the beating of his heart, the turning gears in his mind. _He’s trying to tell you not to do things like this._

“Oh. I - I am sorry, Mollymauk, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought it would be a nice gesture, that is all. You do not have to have any, if you do not want, I just thought you would like it.” Molly’s brow furrowed.

“What? Hell no, I’m eating those crepes.” Molly placed his hand over Caleb’s on the counter. “I’m saying that you don’t need to feel obligated to do these kinds of things. And that I appreciate them, and I appreciate you being here, more than I can probably express to you, since humans don’t have to do this.” Molly was quiet for a moment. “What do you mean make me uncomfortable? Why would crepes make me uncomfortable?”

 _Scheisse._ “Well, ah, I thought maybe it was a bit too…much. I know you were very clear that you wanted me to help you as your friend, and I do not want you to think that…I was trying to…or that I was thinking something else. That is all.” Molly’s face remained implacable as always.

“The thought never crossed my mind,” he said, his tone decidedly, deliberately casual, the way it was when he came to the library yesterday. Caleb nodded.

“Ah, okay. Good.” The two men stood in silence, drinking their wine, as Caleb finished the dinner and brought the plates to the table. Molly rolled up his sleeves when they sat and pulled his wool socks off to leave them behind.

“Hot again,” he explained, to Caleb’s quizzical expression. They were quiet for a few long moments as they ate, until Molly put his fork down and stared at Caleb.

“Y-yes?” Caleb asked, shifting under the intensity of the gaze.

“I know this is weird.” Caleb’s stomach twisted.

“How so?” he asked miserably.

“Friendship gets weird when you put sex in the mix,” Molly said bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know I’ve asked you for a lot. You can always back out, you know, if you’ve changed your mind.” Caleb’s brain short-circuited.

“ _Was_? Why would you think I have changed my mind?” Molly fidgeted.

“I’m just saying, I get it. I know this is weird. And I know it’s hard to keep the…boundaries…in place between being friends and…more, I guess. You’ve just been very concerned about _my_ comfort and I really appreciate that but if you’re uncomfortable, that matters too. To me.”

“I am not uncomfortable, Mollymauk,” Caleb reassured him. “I really am not. I just want to respect that you asked me to do this for you as a favor to a friend, I do not want to cross a line with you by mistake.” Molly was quiet for a minute.

“To be honest, I’m not too worried about it, Caleb. This is a weird and messy situation. Lines are going to get crossed. We can sort it out after, yeah? I mean listen, if there’s something making you uncomfortable, speak up, but I’m not stupid enough to think we’re going to come out of all this with our friendship just the same as before. That’s always the way when you sleep with your friends. We’re going to have to talk it through before we go home no matter what. So don’t overthink it, alright?” Caleb nodded slowly.

“Ja, alright. Thank you, that does make me feel a bit more at ease.”

“Besides, I need someone to be the big spoon for me at night and I can’t call on you for that if I know you’re laying awake wondering if putting your arm around me is too much like being my boyfriend.” Molly grinned and winked and Caleb felt his nerves slowly unknotting. He managed a wink back and Molly’s surprised expression rekindled the coals of arousal in his core. He saw that hunger return in Molly’s eyes and Molly pushed his plate away, slinking over to stand behind Caleb’s chair.

“I’d like you to take me to bed now,” he bent down and whispered, his hands reaching over Caleb’s shoulders and running down his chest.

Later that night, Caleb would think back and muse that he didn’t think he’d ever gotten up from the dinner table so fast in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all will get the "dessert" scene I promise! ;) The last sentence doesn't mean I'm skipping it, just breaking up the chapters so they don't get unwieldy. Author photosynthesizes kudos and comments.
> 
> (Also I flipping hate the word "folds" as those of you who have read my other stuff know, but didn't want to say "labia" so...forgive me).


	3. Keep, can you keep it in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hand slipped.

Caleb stood up from the table and swept Molly into his arms, taking Molly’s mouth in a bruising, hot kiss. Molly opened easily, eager and hungry, tossing his arms around Caleb’s neck.

“I need you to fuck me,” he growled in Caleb’s ear, hitching his leg over Caleb’s hip.

“Oh _fuck_ , Molly,” Caleb groaned, the arousal he’d denied earlier flaring again. He slid his hands over Molly’s back and cupped his ass, pressing Molly’s hips close to his. Suddenly, Molly leaned into his grasp and jumped up into Caleb’s arms, legs tightly wrapped around his waist. Caleb felt dizzy, between Molly’s lips on his and losing his balance, but Molly was strong and lithe and centered them both.

“Take me to bed,” he breathed again between kisses, as if Caleb had the thought capacity to remember where the bedroom was with Molly on him like this.

“Anything you wish, _Schöner_ ,” Caleb murmured, nipping Molly’s bottom lip playfully. Molly’s fingers were under his collar now, unbuttoning his shirt, burning hot hands running over Caleb’s pale, freckled skin.

“Fuck, I want this off,” Molly mumbled, pushing the shirt off Caleb’s shoulders as the human led them to the bedroom, grateful that Molly, born and bred circus man, could hold himself up from his hips rather than relying on Caleb’s strength. _I bet he’s flexible, too…._

“Just a moment,” Caleb gasped, finally making it into the bedroom and spinning Molly around to press him against the door. They’d barely made it to the bedroom and he was already wrecked, shirt half off, hard and straining against his trousers. Caleb leaned in to kiss Molly again and again, need roaring through his veins, his head swimming only with thoughts of Molly. Molly had said earlier that he was “too patient”. He was tired of being patient.

Molly hummed against his mouth in arousal and kissed him with just as much urgency, his forked tongue slipping into Caleb’s mouth, hot and claiming. Remembering that Molly’s tongue was forked made Caleb’s knees weak and his imagination run wild.

Caleb brought one hand up to Molly’s back to support him and swung around, needing to take only a few steps before tossing him to the bed. (Or, if he were being truly fair, before Molly launched himself off of Caleb and onto the bed).

 _“_ Is this alright?” he asked softly, leaning over Molly. He didn’t want to assume the tiefling liked to be manhandled. Molly was shoving Caleb’s shirt off his shoulders, laying desperate kisses over his collarbone and chest.

“Shut up,” Molly mumbled. “As if I haven’t brought myself off a million times thinking about you pushing me around.” Caleb was far too lust-drunk to fully process the admission, but the image it produced sent an almost painful bolt of want to his cock. He bent down and took Molly’s mouth again, pressing his hand to the front of his trousers to relieve the pressure.

“Y-you have?” Caleb asked, his brain catching up to him as he pulled Molly’s shirt up over his head. Molly grinned and propped himself up, pulling Caleb forward by the waistband of his trousers.

“Of course I have,” he said smoothly, undoing Caleb’s laces and pulling his trousers back. Caleb sighed with relief when Molly released his cock and moaned, low and needy, as Molly licked his hand and wrapped it around Caleb’s hard, leaking length. He began stroking slowly and Caleb’s brain blanked out, gasps and sighs and swears escaping him.

“I think about you when I’m jacking off all the time, darling,” Molly said, maddeningly self-satisfied. “When we were on the ship I thought about how good it would be to sneak around with you, taking you up in the crow’s nest and letting you rail me over the side, that was a good one…I think about getting on my knees for you, letting you fuck my face, I think you’ll find I’m very good with my mouth -“ Caleb let out a stuttering groan, his hips bucking into Molly’s hand involuntarily “-and sometimes I like to imagine you’re holding me down and _using_ me, fucking me even when I can’t take it anymore, til you fill me up-“

“Ohhh, gods, Molly,” Caleb groaned, bent over the tiefling, who kept stroking his cock. “I - I won’t last if you keep this up.” Molly took his hand away and Caleb’s body cried out for the contact.

“Mmm, you like thinking about me touching myself?” Molly teased, his tail thumping on the bed beside him.

Caleb didn’t answer, didn’t need to, just caught his breath and then started laying kisses over Molly’s shoulders and chest, over his stomach and down to the waistband of his pants. He yanked them down, revealing Molly’s soft curls and sticky thighs, and the intoxicating scent of his arousal.

“I don’t need anything,” Molly moaned, “I’m ready, I’m so fucking wet, please just fuck me, _please_ , gods, Caleb I need your cock in me…” He was clutching at the sheets, brow damp with sweat. The sight, and the filthy words dripping from Molly’s lips, just stoked the fire of arousal deep inside Caleb and he sank his teeth into Molly’s hip, sucking hard to leave a dark bruise. Molly gasped and tangled his fingers in Caleb’s hair, his hips rolling back and forth. Caleb kneeled between Molly’s legs and leaned over him.

“ _I want everyone who tries to bed you to know that you are mine,_ ” he growled against Molly’s lips, capturing them again in an obscene and nakedly sexual kiss. He was too far gone to feel embarrassed by his words, and the delicious keen that Molly let out when he said it encouraged him further. Leaning over Molly, delighting in the slide of hot skin against skin, Caleb paused to catch his breath and check Molly’s face.

“This is what you want, ja?” he panted, one hand stroking Molly’s thigh where it hooked around his waist. Molly’s eyes opened, dark and hungry.

“Please just shut up and fuck me,” Molly snarled, and Caleb couldn’t help but grin, grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed to place under Molly’s hips.

He slid two fingers between Molly’s folds to check that he was slick and ready and they passed in with almost no friction. Molly was soaked, hot and wanting, writhing under him. Caleb spread Molly’s legs a touch wider and lined himself up, sinking into Molly’s wet, waiting heat in one easy glide. He was gone now, his mind a jumble of sensation, his hips pounding into Molly, the way Molly’s body pulled him in and clenched around him, the grip of Molly’s thighs around his waist, the wet sounds of Molly getting fucked filling the room, and of course the sounds Molly himself was making, high and needy, a mix of moans and curses and pleas for more. Caleb was dimly aware that he was moaning too, letting out gasps and sighs of _oh, Mooolly…_ when Molly’s walls spasmed around him. He knew he was approaching his peak and there was nothing to stop it this time. Caleb gripped Molly’s ass and gritted his teeth and tried recalling the patterns of old apprentice spells, reciting components lists in his head, but he couldn’t manage any coherent thought with the gorgeous figure of Molly under him, his heat surrounding him. He reached between them and massaged at Molly’s cock, eliciting even louder wails of delight and spasms of Molly’s cunt around him.

“Molly, I’m close,” Caleb gasped, “what should-“

“Cum inside me,” Molly whined, “fucking _please_ cum inside.” That was enough to send him over the edge with,

“Ah, ah, ah, _AH, Molly!”_

-almost collapsing over Molly as he clutched Molly’s thigh in one hand, the other still on Molly’s dick. Caleb’s body was overcome by waves of pleasure, his muscles tensing and slacking, as he shot his release deep inside Molly.

Just as he regained his senses he realized Molly was almost there too and he rubbed Molly’s cock faster, reaching up with one hand to stimulate a nipple.

“I’m so close,” Molly choked, “please, please, please, Caleb-“ Caleb sat back on his heels, sliding his oversensitive, softening cock out of Molly with a wince, and immediately replacing it with three fingers. Molly let out a strangled cry, his hips bucking up. Caleb leaned down to kiss Molly’s neck, running his tongue over the marks he’d left earlier. His fingers glided in and out of Molly easily, slick with Molly’s wet and his own release, hot and thick. Not letting up his pace in Molly’s hole or on his dick, Caleb sucked at Molly’s earlobe and whispered,

“You know, _Schatz_ , when I touch myself, sometimes I think about you, too.”

Molly clenched around his fingers so hard he almost pushed them out, gushing over Caleb’s hand with a wordless shout, his thighs trembling around Caleb’s waist. Caleb stroked Molly lightly through the aftershocks of his orgasm, softening his touch until Molly started squirming away. Caleb stayed where he was for a long few moments, bringing his hands up to stroke Molly’s torso, his legs, pressing soft kisses in an unhurried rhythm over Molly’s neck and shoulders.

Molly sighed and brought his arms around Caleb’s shoulders, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Warmth glowed in Caleb’s core like the embers of a fire, all he wanted was to feel Molly’s skin on his, be close to him, but he pulled back to assess Molly’s face.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, playing with a wayward curl across Molly’s forehead.

“Well-fucked,” Molly mumbled with a smile. “Holy _shit_ , Caleb.” Caleb flushed a little.

“I am glad I pleased you.”

Molly chuckled and pulled him down into another kiss, this one affectionate, soft.

“I’d ask if you had a good time but I think I can feel the evidence of that on my thighs.”

“Ah, I am sorry, let me clean you up-“ Caleb raised a hand and sleepily drew the glyphs for _Prestidigitation_ in the air, dissipating the mess of cum and slick and sweat off their bodies and the sheets. A flash of light caught the corner of his eye and he jumped up, only to see the fireplace logs burst into flame.

“Are you _fucking-_ you know what, never mind.” Caleb rolled his eyes and turned his gaze back to Molly, who was trying _very_ hard not to bust into a fit of giggles.

“You can laugh,” Caleb groused. Molly collapsed into laughter, and it was so adorable that Caleb started laughing too, and soon the two were lying side by side wiping tears from their eyes. Once the laughter died down, Caleb stood and went to his pack for his sleeping pants.

“I sleep naked,” Molly announced. “Unless you want me to put some pants on.” Caleb raised an eyebrow at him.

“I am not sure I am in a position to request your modesty, at this point,” he replied, to which Molly giggled and pulled back the bedspread for Caleb to join him. Ordinarily, Caleb would have been up for a while longer, but he was exhausted and if sex gave him an in to catch up on his sleep, he was going to take it. He climbed back into bed next to Molly and pulled him close.

“This is alright?” he asked quietly, his lids already growing heavy.

“I told you, I need a big spoon at night,” Molly teased, his hips fitting snugly against Caleb’s.

“Good night, Mollymauk.”

“Good night, Caleb.”

~~~

Caleb awoke in the middle of the night, the fire snapping and crackling as it burned down to embers. He couldn’t say exactly what awoke him at first. Trouble sleeping wasn’t new to Caleb, so it probably wasn’t anything in particular. As his brain came to, he realized that Molly wasn’t under his arm anymore, and his eyes snapped open.

Molly was all the way on the other side of the bed, curled in the fetal position. As Caleb’s eyes adjusted, he saw that Molly was shivering, lying in a pool of sweat.

“Molly,” he murmured, scooting over and putting his hand on the tiefling’s shoulder. His skin was almost painful to touch, burning hot, and slick with sweat. Molly didn’t respond.

“Molly,” Caleb repeated, gently turning him over.Worry twisted in his stomach. “What do you need? What can I get you? Do you want that tea that Caduceus gave you?” Molly’s eyes were screwed shut, shivers wracking his body. “Okay, okay, I will make that for you. Just- stay here.”

“Please don’t go,” Molly croaked, his hand shooting out to grab Caleb’s wrist. “It hurts…” Caleb was wide awake now, adrenaline coursing through him. _Is this normal? Should I call Jester? Or Caduceus? Does he need a cleric?_

“I know, _Schatz_ , I know,” he soothed, running his fingers through Molly’s damp curls. “I want to make it better, but I have to get the tea Caduceus made, and I promise I will make it right here in this room, I will not be far from you. Is that okay? Only five minutes, and if I am gone a second longer you can - I do not know, you can set Jannik on me. I promise. Okay?” Molly nodded once, still not looking at Caleb.

Caleb dashed out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen, taking the teapot from the stove and filling it with water from the indoor tap. His mind was running at a million miles a second, wondering if this was the right thing to do. This seemed to be on par with what he’d read about tieflings in heat, that this was part of it, but it was different seeing it in person, especially happening to Molly. His hands were shaking as he filled the teapot, and he splashed water on the floor in his rush to collect a mug and the small pouch Caduceus had sent them with. When he returned to the bedroom, Molly was in the same position, shaking and sweating, small whines and whimpers coming from him.

“I am here, Mollymauk,” Caleb whispered, sitting on the ground next to Molly’s side of the bed. He carded one hand through Molly’s hair as he awkwardly filled the teapot with the other. Holding the teapot from the bottom in his free hand, he focused and heated it until he could feel the water bubbling inside. He put it back on the floor and let it steep while he held Molly’s hand and stroked his hair. Each whimper of pain that escaped Molly’s lips pricked in Caleb’s chest. He hoped the tea would work right away, he wanted to make this stop.

“I am going to take my hands back so I can pour your tea, alright?” Caleb murmured, pressing a kiss to Molly’s fingers, clenched around his. Molly reluctantly let go, curling his hand back into his chest.

Caleb poured carefully but quickly. The tea was pungent, smelling strangely astringent, like wine, and earthy, like mushrooms. He blew over the surface to cool it, and held it up to Molly.

“Here you are, have some.” Molly opened his eyes blearily and held out a hand to take the cup, drinking it down quickly despite the heat. He hardly seemed to notice the temperature, replacing the cup on the bedside table and closing his eyes again. Caleb placed the teapot next to it.

“The rest is there, if you need more.”

“Will you lay with me?” Molly asked, his voice barely audible.

“Ja, of course.” Caleb got up immediately, wincing at the twinge in his back - _you are an old man, Widogast, what are you doing sitting on the floor_ \- and went to douse the fire before laying down next to Molly. He didn’t lay too close, or touch Molly, assuming Molly would be uncomfortable with the body heat, but Molly reached over and pulled Caleb’s arm over his waist.

“You want to be held?” Caleb confirmed, and waited for a nod from Molly before he pulled Molly close to his chest, one arm under Molly’s shoulders, the other slung over his hips. Another wave of shakes rolled over Molly and Caleb held him tighter and rubbed small circles over Molly’s heated skin with his thumbs. He was starting to sweat, Molly was like a furnace, but couldn’t imagine moving. Gradually, after what felt like an eternity, but was probably only three quarters of an hour, Molly’s spasms started to become less intense, less frequent, and his breathing more even and calm. Relief washed over him when it appeared that Molly was finally back to sleep. He sighed, nestled his face into the back of Molly’s shoulder and sleep wasn’t far behind for him either.

~~~

The next time Caleb woke up, Molly hadn’t migrated to the other side of the bed. He was still asleep, and as Caleb came to consciousness, the first sensations he noticed were Molly’s weight in his arms, the scent of Molly filling his nose. He opened his eyes and shifted slightly, Molly’s hair tickling his face. He didn’t want to move too much, because he’d wake Molly, or at least that’s what he told himself.

Caleb let himself take a few minutes to look at Mollymauk. He was normally too nervous to stare, even when he found someone attractive, especially someone as shamelessly flirtatious as Molly. But now, with Molly in his arms, asleep, he let his eyes rove over the sleeping tiefling. Caleb found something to appreciate in just about every part of Molly; his strong, sinewy calves, his soft, delicate feet, the way his long, dextrous fingers looked, even in his sleep, like they were meant to play a piano. Light from the lanterns cast shadows over Molly’s collarbone, dotted with hickeys, tattoos and scar tissue. Caleb drank in every inch of smooth lavender skin, seas of ink and silvery spiderwebs of scarring where he sliced himself open on those blasted blades. Molly shifted in his sleep, snuffling and pulling one leg up towards his chest. Caleb caught himself staring and felt hot embarrassment wash over him. He gently, slowly extricated himself from Molly’s limbs, dressed silently and took a book from his pack to read downstairs, if he couldn’t sleep. Looking back at Molly’s sleeping form, he left the door cracked open just a touch so he could hear if Molly called for him.

Caleb stretched out on the couch in the lounge, long legs perched on the coffee table in a way that he knew would have gotten a raised eyebrow from his mother (or Nott, for that matter). He snapped a fire into the grate and let it take the chill out of the air while he read.

Without daylight, it was hard to know how long he read, but he awoke with a start on the couch some time later, sensing the morning. His back ached again, muscles stiff from falling asleep on the couch.

“Why, Mister Caleb, I didn’t think I was that bad of a sleeping companion,” Molly quipped, poking his head in from the kitchen. “What did I do that made you come sleep out here? I mean, obviously you should sleep on the couch if you prefer,” he added quickly. Caleb rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

“Nothing at all, Mollymauk, I just could not sleep. I often do not. Did you sleep the rest of the night?”

“Yes, I feel rested,” Molly replied, entering the room with a fresh teapot and mugs. “Got to thank Caduceus when I get home. That is really the very worst part of the heat, waking up in your own sweat with your muscles cramping like that.”

“Why does that happen?” Caleb asked. Molly shrugged.

“Dunno. I think it has something to do with fertility. Tieflings have to be at a certain temperature to hatch or whatever.” Seeing Caleb’s confused expression, he rolled his eyes.

“Not literally like, you know, eggs. Metaphorical eggs.” Caleb nodded slowly.

“Right. Metaphorical eggs.” This morning was off to a weird start.

“I think the body has to heat up in order for a fertilized egg to take. So the idea, biologically, I think, is that I’m supposed to bang a bunch of guys and hope one of ‘em works out.”

“Or just one, a bunch of times,” Caleb teased, which made Molly grin.

“Or that.”

“But you have been, ah, taking your potion, ja?” Caleb asked, blushing hard.

“Yes, don’t worry, darling,” Molly said dismissively, waving a hand. “I have no intention of becoming an old pop anytime soon.”

“You think you will someday, though? Is that alright to ask?” Molly nodded.

“It’s a fair question I think maybe someday, yeah. I don’t want to cut off that possibility for myself just yet. Maybe, if, you know, I found the right person.” Now he could’ve sworn Molly was flushing.

“Well, I think if you do, your children will be terribly spoiled,” Caleb murmured with a smile, his eyes on the fireplace.

“Well of course they will. I made them, they’re like little me’s, and if I spoil me, how much more should I spoil my creation?” Caleb couldn’t help but chuckle at the images. Molly, playing at swords with a little red tiefling girl, taking her for walks and telling her all sorts of fanciful stories about the animals and plants they saw along the way, or teaching her how to play tricks and outwit people who might underestimate her. Molly sauntered over to the couch and draped himself in Caleb’s lap, his back to Caleb’s chest, resting his head on Caleb’s shoulder.

"What about you?" Molly asked. Caleb felt a ball of nerves twist in his stomach. He shrugged.

"I do not know. It is...difficult to think about starting a family given...my own." Molly took his hand and squeezed, thankfully not inquiring further.

“How are you feeling?” Caleb asked, hoping to change the subject and distract from the embarrassingly quick response of his body to Molly’s ass in his lap and - _oh -_ the small movements of Molly’s tail.

“Pretty good,” Molly replied. He was warm against Caleb, though not nearly as painfully hot as last night. “What are you reading, darling?”

“Oh, uh, nothing,” Caleb replied, blushing.

“Come on, tell me,” Molly cajoled, his interest piqued now. “You’d have said the name if it were just something boring.” _Scheisse._

“It is nothing interesting, Mollymauk, just some trashy novel that Jester bought for me last time she wanted to trade some smut.”

“Oh well I think that’s very interesting,” Molly teased. “Come on, what’s it called?”

“ _Trials of Fire_ ,” Caleb mumbled, his face hot. Before he could stop him, Molly snatched the book out of Caleb’s hand and flipped to the description. He began reading aloud, in his most dramatic tone,

“ _Geth Brightwood, a handsome, but ill-tempered fire genasi ranger, is stuck in a dead end job as a night watchman as he waits to figure out his next moves. At his regular post, an intriguing young human man begins to pass at precisely the same time each night._

 _Geth is annoyed by Malark Dundragon, an attractive, tawny-skinned monk with an air of haughtiness about him, but curiosity overtakes him and one night he follows the monk to his nightly destination. Tailing Malark to the port, he witnesses a common boatman utilize strange and forbidden magic to attack Malark. Acting fast, Geth puts an arrow into the man’s throat, and that act sparks a tense friendship with Malark, drawing him into a web of occult magic, secret organizations, and - perhaps - more to his relationship with Malark than he could have anticipated._ ”

Molly handed it back with a grin, still leaning against Caleb’s chest.

“Would you read a bit to me?” he asked sweetly, and Caleb was about to decline when Molly - rather unfairly, he thought - rolled his hips back against Caleb’s growing need, sending a wave of arousal through him. “I like the sound of your voice.”

“If you’d like,” he managed. _Like you could ever say no to him._ Caleb opened his book to the page he’d stopped on, noticing with warmth blooming in his stomach that Molly’s chest was vibrating, not unlike Frumpkin when he was curled around Caleb’s shoulders. It was incredibly endearing.

“Are you purring, Mollymauk?” he asked incredulously. He thought he saw Molly flush again, though it was difficult to tell from this angle.

“Just happens sometimes,” he mumbled. “Don’t mind me.”

“So where we are now, Malark the monk is back in his order’s headquarters, running through training exercises, when Geth comes to see him. Ja?” Caleb felt a little silly reading a trashy book like this aloud, but Molly wasn’t judging. He seemed pretty invested in hearing how it turned out.

“I bet they’ll bang in there,” Molly offered.

“Perhaps, _Schatz_. We shall see.” Caleb cleared his throat and began reading. In this scene, Geth was confronting Malark over his involvement in a secret organization that was harnessing rare magic to gain political power. He accused Malark of hiding this information from him, and risking his life in the process, which incensed Malark. The two began to scuffle in the training pit, trading blows, when the dramatic confession came:

“ _‘You think I would ever risk any harm coming to you?’ Malark demanded, tendrils of dark hair coming loose from his bun. ‘I kept that from you for your own safety. The less you know, the safer you are.’_

_‘Why would you care about my safety?’ Geth argued, pushing a finger into Malark’s chest. ‘I’m nobody to you.’_

_Suddenly, Malark grabbed Geth by the front of the shirt and pulled him into a deep, furious kiss._

_‘You are a stupid fool if you think you’re nobody to me,’ the human snarled, pushing Geth down into the sand. Geth was too surprised to react, letting Malark straddle his hips and pull his arms up over his head to kiss him again._ ” Caleb was feeling a little shy now, unsure if he should keep going.

“Oh well don’t stop now, it’s just getting good,” Molly said, pulling Caleb's hand around his waist.

“ _‘Keep your hands there,’ Malark ordered. ‘Unless you need to stop, you should just keep your mouth shut.’”_ Between the smut and Molly seated between his legs, he couldn’t help the erection that was surely pressing into Molly’s back by now.

“Oh I didn’t know you were into _that_ kind of thing, Mister Caleb,” Molly teased, making Caleb blush harder.

“ _Geth did as he was told, unable to contain the low moan that came out of his mouth. Malark tore his shirt open, paying no mind to the buttons, and ran his calloused hands over Geth’s chest. The rough pads of his fingers felt wonderful sliding over Geth’s skin.”_ Caleb was too turned on not to notice Molly sneakily unbuttoning his own shirt, pushing the fabric aside to expose his torso. Caleb’s mouth went dry but Molly hadn’t invited him to touch, so he kept reading.

“ _Malark stood and walked over to his things piled in a corner of the room. Geth started to sit up but Malark flicked his wrist and pinned Geth back to the floor._

 _‘I didn’t tell you to get up,’ he said simply, rummaging in his bag for something. Geth was rock hard in his pants already, his dick begging to be touched. The monk came back over and began divesting himself of his own clothes, business-like, as if Geth weren’t desperate with need on the floor. A shiver ran through Geth’s prone form as he watched acres of brown skin emerge from under Malark’s clothes, his body toned and muscular from years of training._ ”

Molly let out a small sigh and rolled his hips against Caleb’s again, leaving no doubt as to what he wanted. Caleb grinned.

“You are a cheeky shit, you know that?” he murmured in Molly’s ear, nipping at the soft skin.

“I’ve been told,” Molly replied, pulling Caleb’s hand to his exposed stomach. Caleb hummed and stroked over soft lavender skin as he continued,

“ _Malark kneeled over Geth again, unbuttoning Geth’s pants and letting his long red dick spring free. Malark bent down and kissed Geth forcefully, pushing Geth’s lips apart with his tongue, pulling a moan from his chest. The heat from his body was making Malark sweat, and when they broke apart, Geth realized with another groan that Malark was opening himself on top of him.”_ Caleb reached up and let his fingers circle one of Molly’s nipples, keeping his touch light and teasing.

_“’I can do that for you,’ he offered, trying to get Malark’s lips on his again._

_‘You’ll take too long,’ the monk growled. ‘I want you now.’”_ Molly was squirming under his touch now, making little noises of want, and Caleb closed the book. Both hands went to Molly’s chest now, one on his nipple and another lightly pressing on the marks and bruises he’d left. He was sure Molly could feel his erection by now, straining desperately against his trousers.

“What a needy thing you are,” he whispered in Molly’s ear, tweaking a nipple between his fingers. “I have hardly touched you and you are already so hot.”

Molly sighed and reached one hand over his shoulder to tangle in Caleb’s hair.

“Please keep talking to me like that,” Molly begged. “Fuck…” The high tone of need in Molly’s voice went straight to his cock, which was already leaking.

“Mmm, you like that, _Schatz_?” he murmured, bringing one hand down to ghost over the front of Molly’s pants. “I love how easy it is to turn you on…all I have to do is whisper some pretty words in your ear and tell you how good you are.”

Caleb dipped one finger below the waistband of Molly’s pants, letting his callouses run over sensitive, soft skin. Molly moaned and spread his legs.

“If I touch you here, will you be wet for me?”

“Yes, yes,” Molly whined. “So fucking wet…”

“Oh but maybe I should not,” Caleb teased. “I do not want to make a mess of these pretty pants.”

“Fuck, Caleb, please fucking touch me,” Molly gritted out. Caleb saw that Molly wasn’t making any moves to touch himself, telling Caleb that he was enjoying the game. “I don’t care if they get ruined.”

Caleb grinned and slid two fingers down through soft curls to touch Molly’s cock, which was already swollen and hard and so wet there was almost no friction. Molly’s underwear was a lost cause, soaked past the point of no return.

“I like a messy boy,” Caleb growled, using his two fingers to stroke at Molly’s cock. “I never realized how easy it is to get you all wet. Are you always like this, or just for me?”

“Worse in the heat,” Molly mumbled. “But it’s always quick…” Caleb hummed, his cock aching.

“So all of those times I thought about taking you on the road, fantasized about pushing you against a tree and fucking you senseless to get some relief from how you tease me with your hot little body, you would have been ready for me?” Caleb slicked his fingers and pushed two inside Molly’s waiting hole.

“ _Fuuuuuuuck!_ ” Molly cried, arching his back. Caleb placed his other hand on Molly’s throat, not squeezing, and used two long fingers to turn Molly’s chin towards him.

“I asked you a question, Mollymauk.”

“Yes, yes, I would’ve,” Molly gasped, his hips bucking into Caleb’s touch.

“Mmm, good boy,” Caleb whispered. “I bet you would have spread your legs for me without having to even think about it, you slut, your sweet hole is so needy…” Molly keened at that, clenching around Caleb’s fingers. He smirked and added a third, using his thumb to massage Molly’s dick. He kept his other hand on Molly’s throat, holding Molly against his chest.

“Caleb, gonna cum…” Molly whined. Caleb abruptly stopped the motion of his fingers and took his thumb off Molly’s cock. The tiefling cried out and arched against him, hips rutting for friction.

“You will cum when I say you can,” he said sternly, but the slight unevenness in his voice gave him away. Molly was falling apart in his arms and he thought he could cum in his own pants at the eroticism of bringing Molly to orgasm with a few touches and honeyed words. Molly was clenching around him now, sobbing with want.

“I wish I could have you like this all day,” Caleb growled in Molly’s ear. “But I think I would have to tie your hands behind your back to stop you from being bad and touching yourself without permission.” Molly let out another stuttering, high moan and Caleb had to reach down with his other hand and unlace his trousers to relieve the painful, distracting pressure. He didn’t want anything distracting him from the delicious heaven of being inside Molly, wrecking Molly like this and watching him cum.

“Would you like that, _Schatz_? I think you would look so pretty on your knees for me, all bound and wet and wanting.” He began moving his fingers again, stroking Molly’s walls, returning his other hand to Molly’s gorgeous neck.

“Would you let me suck your cock?” Molly managed. “If I were being good?” Caleb picked up the pace, fingering Molly rougher and faster.

“Only if you were very good, and I do not know if you can be good for that long.” Caleb pressed hard on Molly’s dick, eliciting a cry and shudder from the tiefling. “You are a brat when you want something.” He could feel Molly getting close, the signs more familiar to him now, the shallow breathing and clenching of his cunt.

“But if you managed to be good long enough, naughty boy, I suppose I could let you. Can you imagine the feeling? I have thought many, many times how fucking good you would look with your mouth stretched around my dick. So fucking pretty.” Molly was starting to shudder now, his body on the brink, and Caleb pushed him over with the slightest pressure on his throat and his mouth on Molly’s ear, whispering,

“ _Cum for me, my lovely little slut.”_

-and Molly exploded, gushing over Caleb’s hand and moaning deliciously, loud and wanton. Caleb pulled his hand out of Molly’s soaked trousers gently. Just as he was opening his mouth for his fingers, coated with Molly’s cum, Molly jumped up to peel off his ruined pants. He kicked them aside and pressed Caleb down into the couch, straddled him, and reached between his legs to gather slick for Caleb’s cock. The first touch of Molly’s hand on his dick almost sent him over the edge and his hips bucked up, silently asking for more. Molly, still flushed and panting, lined Caleb up with his entrance and sank down, and suddenly Caleb’s only thoughts were _Molly, Molly, Molly_ , how wet and warm and tight around his cock Molly was. A deep groan burst from his throat as Molly pressed his slick fingers into Caleb’s mouth, the taste and weight of Molly on his tongue breaking the dam in just a few moments of Molly riding him. The warmth of his climax washed over him, his muscles locking and a shout tearing from his lungs.

Molly dismounted - and fuck if Caleb couldn’t get hard again at the sight of Molly’s inner thighs painted with his release - and collapsed against his chest with a satisfied sigh. Molly nuzzled into his chest hair, purring again, and he wrapped a limp arm around Molly’s shoulders, still trying to catch his breath.

“Good?” was all he could manage to ask and Molly chuckled.

“Yeah, good.” They lay like that for a while, Molly tracing patterns over Caleb’s skin with soft fingertips, Caleb running his fingers through Molly’s curls and fighting off exhaustion.

“I think you’re going to need that endurance potion today, darling.”


	4. Keep it behind latches, can you make it last?

Molly went upstairs to clean off and change after the morning’s tumble, leaving Caleb alone in the living room with his thoughts. A sense of creeping unease came over him, a black, angry wave roiling in his stomach.

_Don’t get used to this. You’ll go back home and things will go back to normal. You’ll go back to your library and Mollymauk won’t give you a second thought._

The thought of returning to normal, of going home and just being members of the Nein again, sharing Molly’s attention with the rest of the group, watching Molly flirt shamelessly with some pretty thing at the bar and of course, as he always did, end up going home with them-

_That didn’t bother you before._

Caleb rubbed his temples and sighed.

_Keep a lid on it. Don’t put Molly in a bad position by not being able to keep things separate._

He sat down at the desk in the study with some of his books. He’d definitely overpacked for just a few days away from home but one never knew what they’d want to read, right? By the time he began to get hungry, he had transcribed one spell into his book and was halfway through another, and it occurred to him that Molly hadn’t come down yet. That was strange. _He’s probably just having a lie down._ But what if something had happened?

Caleb laid his books back on the table and began looking for Molly. He wasn’t in the living room, or the kitchen, so Caleb climbed the stairs to the second floor where the bedroom and bathroom were located.

“Mollymauk?” he called quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was actually sleeping. _You’re being ridiculous and overbearing. Just leave him alone._ Something tugged at him though, the tiniest hint of paranoia that if something _had_ happened- Caleb opened the door to the bathroom. Nothing. The bedroom. Nothing. Molly’s pack was still there, so he hadn’t run away or anything. He looked out the windows on the second floor, down to the garden where Jannik was happily munching at his grain. Molly wasn’t there either. Caleb even checked the door to the root cellar, going halfway down the stairs and peering into the dark earthen room. No Molly.

_Okay, relax. He’s gone out. He needn’t tell you what he’s doing at all hours. He’s not your boyfriend. You’re just here to help him, he can do as he likes. He could be at the bar for all the business of yours it is._

Caleb tramped back down to the study and buried his nose back in his books, trying to shove down the inexplicable stormy mood coalescing inside him. It was none of his business what Molly was doing. Molly was more than capable of taking care of himself, and didn’t owe him a farewell or a “just so you know” or anything else.

He was three-quarters of the way through another spell when the front door of the house opened loudly. How had he not heard it the first time? Caleb rose from the table quietly, waiting for more sounds. If it were an intruder, the only hope he really had was getting the jump on them. In a contest of strength, he’d certainly lose.

“Caleb?” a familiar voice called. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, returning to sit at the desk.  
  
“Ja, in here, Mollymauk.” Molly appeared in the doorway, ostentatious as ever in his trademark coat and jangling horn jewelry.

“There you are!”

“I was wondering where you went,” Caleb said, trying to be casual. _Gods, you sound clingy._ “Not that you needed to tell me you were going out, or anything,” he added hastily. _Yeah, that made it better._

“Well if I told you I was going out, you might have wanted to come with me,” Molly said, half-sitting on the edge of the desk. Caleb’s stomach sank. _He's telling you to lay off._

“And since I was buying something for _you_ , that just wouldn’t have worked.” Caleb looked up, his brow furrowed.

“ _Was?_ For me?”

“Here you are, darling,” Molly said, pulling one thin, brown paper wrapped package from under his arm, and a small, round one wrapped in pale yellow. Caleb opened the smaller first, which turned out to be a tiny crystal bottle of faintly orange translucent liquid that he didn’t recognize. Molly saw his confused expression and uncorked it, holding it under his nose. Caleb inhaled a strong aroma of smoky vanilla wood and sweet roasted hazelnuts.

“It’s perfume,” Molly explained quickly, his hands knotting in his lap. “The smell just - made me think of you. Since, you know, Jester’s always saying you smell and all.” He pushed playfully at Caleb’s shoulder with a grin. Caleb smiled back.

“Thank you, Mollymauk, though since you are sharing a bed with me I cannot help but think it is a bit self-serving,” he teased, the light tone covering over how touched he was at Molly’s kindness. Molly hooted with laughter.

“You caught me. Okay, open the other one!”

Caleb took the brown package and pulled back the paper to reveal a gorgeous set of calligrapher’s tools: sheets of velvet soft parchment; a beautifully made black stone inkwell with flecks of iron that glittered like the night sky when they caught the light; three exquisitely carved quills, with just the right balance of flexibility and strength, made from dazzling light grey, dark blue and pale pink feathers; and a crystal bottle of midnight black arcane ink.

“Oh, Mollymauk,” he whispered, his throat catching a little against his will. “This is beautiful. It - it is too much, I cannot accept it-” He looked up at Molly, who waved him off.

“Nonsense. It makes you happy, doesn’t it?”

“Of course, I am so grateful, but you should spend your money on yourself, not-“

“Hush,” Molly said sternly. “It makes me happy to give you these gifts. So I am kind of spending it on myself, if that makes you feel better. Besides, the cleric who I bought it from told me that these would make it easier for you to transcribe your spells! I don’t really know how that all works, but can’t have you using this stuff, can we?” Molly picked up the ragged old turkey quill Caleb had brought, which had bald patches where feather should have been and was bent precariously around the spot on the shaft where he gripped it.

“Does this thing even hold ink anymore? No wonder you lock yourself in the library all day. It probably takes you an hour just to write a shopping list. Really, love, it’s self-preservation. It’s only a matter of time before you go to cast Invisibility or something and accidentally turn me into a withered husk because this hundred-year old quill you found in a gutter dripped ink all over your spellbook. I don’t think I’d look very handsome as a husk.” Caleb couldn’t help but laugh at Molly’s hyperbole, feeling almost dizzy with gratitude over the gifts.

“And, um, well, I bought these for you because I really did want to do something nice for you to express how thankful I am that you’re here with me. I know, I know, I’ve said it but I wanted to show it. I’m glad not to have to go through it alone like I usually do. And it’s not pretty. As you’ve seen. It’s a vulnerable time for me not just because someone could take advantage, but because I don’t…like for other people to see me like that. Weak. Having you…take care of me, I guess, has meant a lot, and you didn’t have to do any of it, that was never part of the deal, you know, so - thanks. That’s all.” Caleb kept his eyes on the table, worried that if he looked up, the emotion in his face would be obvious. He reached up and took Molly’s hand.

“I am…quite touched, that you trust me enough to let me see that. But, I do not think that you are weak, Mollymauk, not at all. It is not weakness to ask for help.” Molly tilted Caleb’s chin up and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Might want to try taking your own advice sometime, darling.” Molly shoved off the desk and straddled Caleb’s lap. Caleb wrapped his arms around Molly’s waist and kissed him, the burning heat of Molly in his arms making him lightheaded. Molly’s tongue probed his mouth shamelessly, hands drifting over Caleb’s shoulders, chest, in his hair.

“You know, if you really felt the need to thank me-“ Molly murmured against Caleb’s mouth, letting his fangs nip at Caleb’s bottom lip. Caleb grinned and reached behind Molly to push his things, especially his beautiful new tools, to the side. He cupped Molly’s ass and easily shifted him back onto the desk, kissing Molly hard and pressing him down onto the surface. Molly hummed and stretched out, and Caleb was sure he knew how just good he looked all laid out like this.

Molly unbuttoned his shirt without breaking his kisses with Caleb, who quickly began moving down Molly’s torso to tease one nipple with his tongue, and then the other. Molly’s small sighs and whines were like catnip to him now, his cock already starting to respond to the taste of Molly’s salty, hot skin on his tongue, Molly’s fingers tangled in his hair. Caleb lifted his eyes to Molly’s face as he took one of Molly’s nipples into his mouth, his heart jumping into his throat at the raw hunger he saw there.

“Mmmm, _Caaaleb_ ,” Molly moaned, letting his head fall back. _Gods,_ his name on Molly’s wet and wanting lips was so fucking intoxicating. He wanted to make Molly say his name like that over and over and over again.

“I will take care of you, _Liebling_ ,” Caleb soothed, working Molly’s leggings down off his hips. He noticed a scrap of old parchment stuck under Molly, surely ruined with sweat by now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Tell me what you want."

“Want you to fuck me,” Molly whined, his horns scraping against the grooves of the desk. If that wasn’t an irrefutable invitation… Caleb leaned over Molly to kiss him again, sensual and slow. His hands worked to fully divest Molly of his pants, and once accomplished, he pulled Molly’s hips down to the edge of the desk and kneeled to kiss at his soft skin. The scent of Molly’s arousal was already getting to him; Caleb pushed Molly’s legs apart and buried his tongue between Molly’s thighs, eliciting a low groan of pleasure from Molly that made his cock ache.

Molly was already more than slick enough, but Caleb loved going down, enjoyed little more than having all his senses full of his lover. Molly’s taste was familiar, sweet, but there was something new, a salty tang on Caleb’s tongue that he realized was his own spend, and the eroticism of tasting himself on Molly, _in_ Molly, made him moan into Molly’s core. Molly was sighing and whimpering above him, pulling his hair in a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. He traced each ridge and valley of Molly with his tongue, laid soft, wet kisses over Molly’s cock, sucked Molly’s tip until he was gasping for more, then backed off to delay Molly's climax. Caleb could have been between Molly’s legs for an hour or for five minutes; for once, he lost track of time.

Caleb stood and kissed Molly again, his lips slick with the two of them, and unlaced his trousers with one hand. His eyes caught the bite mark he’d left on Molly’s hip last night and with his other hand, he pressed on it, delighting in the delicious way it made Molly shiver and sigh. _Mine_. He shook his head to clear it of the errant thought and brought Molly’s legs around his waist. Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb’s neck and when Caleb sank into him with a long, stuttering gasp, Molly keened and clenched around him.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good…” Molly gasped. “So fucking good…” Caleb moaned in response, one hand holding himself up and the other on Molly’s cock. As he began to thrust, Molly reached over his head and braced himself on the other edge of the desk, nails scraping the wood. Molly’s moans took on a short, stammering rhythm as the snap of Caleb’s hips took the wind out of him.

“Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh, oh oh, _gods,_ Caleb, fuck, baby,” Molly mumbled, his eyes screwed shut. “Oh gods oh gods oh gods I’m gonna _cum,_ fuck-“ Molly contracted around him, wailing, and this time Molly didn’t just give a little gush, Caleb actually felt a _splash_ against his lower stomach, and holy _shit_ he didn’t think he’d ever been so aroused in his life… Molly, face flushed and mouth gaping, propped himself up, thighs shaking around Caleb’s hips, and between that moment, the way his heart flipped when he made eye contact with Molly, and the spasms of Molly’s comedown, Caleb wasn’t far behind, finishing with a white starburst behind his eyes and a groan as he emptied into Molly, shuddering.

“Oh gods, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” Molly babbled, face deep purple with embarrassment. He was trying to sit up, but his trembling limbs refused to cooperate. Caleb stared at him incredulously, brain still sluggish in his afterglow.

“ _Sorry?_ For what?!”

“I - I didn’t know that would happen. Usually it’s just a little bit if it happens at all, not - not like that.” Caleb bent down and took Molly’s mouth in another open-mouthed kiss.

“That was the hottest thing that has ever happened to me,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to Molly’s cheek. He cast _Prestidigitation_ to clean them and tucked himself back into his trousers. Noticing that Molly was still staring at him dubiously, he leaned over and whispered in Molly’s ear,

“Next time you think you are going to do that, _Liebling_ , try to wait until I am going down on you.” Molly giggled in relief and Caleb couldn’t help but smile back, averting his eyes and blushing hard.

“You are full of surprises, Mister Caleb,” Molly breathed as he dressed.

Molly went to the kitchen to scrounge up some food while Caleb rearranged and cleaned the desk, noting with a mix of satisfaction and embarrassment that one of Molly’s horns had scratched the wooden surface. Hopefully the owner wouldn’t notice.

“You know,” Molly started as he came in, carrying a plate of sliced sausage, tomatoes, a hunk of cheese and wedge of green melon. “Don’t you think it’s strange we’ve fucked in just about every room of this house and the bedroom only once?” Caleb shrugged.

“We can certainly remedy that if you would like,” he said, settling into the large, comfortable couch of the study with a tomato slice.

“The part where we haven’t yet defiled the kitchen or the root cellar, or the part where we maybe ought to make it to the bed more often?”

“Either,” Caleb laughed. “The latter would certainly be kinder on my back. Though I believe I am reaching my, ah, physical limits, and it is only midday, so if you still have that, er, supplement-“ Molly produced the bottle from the pocket of his coat almost immediately.

“Cad made it himself for, uh, quite a different purpose I imagine. Maybe it’s hogwash but can’t hurt, right? And that tea he’s made is really helping me.” Caleb swirled the mauve liquid inside the vial, uncorked it and downed it. He tried not to let it hit his tongue but he was surprised at the relatively pleasant taste, clean like celery seeds and earthy like fermentation and soil.

“How long does the heat usually last?” Caleb asked, trying to ignore the nerves rising in him at the prospect of going home.

“Three days, maybe four, depending. So I have a day or two left. It’s hard to say because I knew it was coming the morning of Da’leysen, and it was definitely starting at least that night… Yesterday, Miresen, was the first full day, today is the second, so depending on how I feel tomorrow, I could be ready to go home first thing Conthsen morning or I might need until Folsen. It’ll probably go a little quicker since I’m getting laid.” Caleb nodded. He thought it better to say nothing at all than risk revealing his trepidation about returning home.

“Is that alright?” Molly asked anxiously. “I understand if you have to get back.”

“I cannot exactly turn up at home without you, _Schatz_ ,” he said, the term of endearment falling out without his thinking about it. “We left together. Do not worry about it. The only people who need anything from me are at home or in this room.”

“What’s that mean?” Molly asked.

“Hmm?”

“You keep calling me that.”

“What? _Schatz_?”

“That.”

“Oh, uh-“ Caleb flushed, his pulse hammering in his ears. “It is just, like a pet name, you know, like you say ‘darling’ all the time. Similar words in Common do not sound so nice in my accent, so, I say them in Zemnian.”

“But what’s it _mean_?” Molly asked, staring at him intently.

“Well, literally it means ‘treasure’,” Caleb explained, fidgeting with embarrassment now. “But people use it to mean the same as, in Common, sweetheart, or darling. But, it is not - it does not have to be romantic, or anything - if it makes you uncomfortable-“ Molly shook his head.

“No, no, it’s fine, I was just curious is all. It sounds nicer than anything similar in my language so I’ll take it.”

The two men ate in companionable silence for a short while, but once they finished, Molly jumped up and began looking around the study for something to do. _Scheisse, how does this man have so much godsdamned energy?_ Caleb could barely keep his head up most days, though to be fair, most nights he hardly slept. Fortunately, thanks to the potion, he was feeling far less wrung out than he ordinarily would have after so much exertion. He’d probably been seventeen the last time he’d had sex three days in a row, let alone two or three times in a day. The fact that he wasn’t passed out facedown on the floor was a minor miracle.

“Want to play a game I found?” Molly called, bounding back over to the couch with a wooden box in his hands. Caleb thought about begging off, to have a little more time alone with his books, but the smile on Molly’s face was entirely too charming.

“You know it is impossible to say no to you, Mollymauk.” Molly grinned wider.

“I know. But really, you don’t have to, I’m just bored. It’ll probably be another hour or two before I’m ready to go again, so.” He shrugged.

“What is the game?”

Molly squinted at the box.

“I think it’s called Scribble? You’re supposed to make words out of other words.” The box unfolded into a gridded tray, and Molly pulled out a large velvet pouch full of wooden tiles. He distributed a handful of letters to each of them.

“No cheating by looking at my letters!” Molly said sternly. “You’ve already got the advantage by being the smart one.” Caleb laughed.

“I will not look at your tiles, but I think you are just as smart as I am, Mollymauk. Smarter, probably. What languages can we use?” Molly wiped a hand over his face.

“I’m going to get my ass kicked. I only speak Common and Infernal. Why, which one of the ten languages you know do you want to use?”

“I do not know ten languages.”

“How many, then?”

“It does not matter-“

“How many, Caleb?” Caleb flushed.

“Just four,” he muttered. “But technically I can comprehend any written language that I do not know.”

“Right, _just_ four.” Molly rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “Are any of them Infernal?”

“Nein, that is one I do not have.”

“Right then, Common it is. Otherwise you could put something down and say it’s Gnomish and I’d hardly know.”

“Not all of us cheat at board games, Mollymauk,” Caleb teased. “But also, I do not know Gnomish. So Common it is.”

“Well what use are you then, if you don’t know Gnomish? I thought that was why we picked you up. Did you lie on your resume, Mister Caleb?”

“I do not remember an extensive interview process,” he replied, glancing up at Molly.

“Ah, well I always thought you just got in on your good looks.” Molly winked, making Caleb blush. He turned his eyes back to his tiles. “Given that I am at quite a disadvantage on the intelligence side, I volunteer to give myself the first turn.”

Molly studied his tiles and laid out his first word: ALES. Caleb went next with ALOOF, to which Molly rolled his eyes and put down CRISP, which Caleb followed with SERIF.

“What?” Caleb asked, noticing Molly’s stare.

“Do you know any words that normal people use on a day to day basis?”

“Of course I do,” Caleb said indignantly. He watched Molly consider the board and his tiles, his tail pattering on the couch like one might tap their fingers on the table in thought. Caleb thought it was very endearing, and secretly enjoyed the opportunity to admire Molly unnoticed, the long lines of Molly’s delicate fingers, the smallest movements of his face as he considered different combinations. Eventually, after sighing that his letters were just terrible, Molly spelled out MICE and Caleb built off of it with MOONBEAMS.

They continued like that for an hour or so, Molly laughing and rolling his eyes at the obscure words Caleb increasingly pulled out as the board became more cluttered, and by the end it was clear who had won.

“Well, I know when I’ve been bested,” Molly said solemnly, a hand on his heart. He scooped the tiles back into the bag and closed up the board. Molly jumped up, graceful as a cat, to put it back where he’d found it, and when he returned, much to Caleb’s surprise, he stood in front of Caleb, arms crossed.

“Winner does get a prize though,” he said smoothly, the now familiar look of heat and hunger in his red eyes. Caleb felt warmth stirring in his stomach at the way Molly looked him over, bottom lip between his teeth. Molly dropped to his knees and pulled Caleb in for a kiss, his skin burning hot. Caleb noticed by now the fluctuations in Molly’s body temperature, rising when he was aroused and dropping after sex, and his own body had an almost automatic response to that, the heat of Molly’s hands on his face signaling his cock in a very strange game of messages.

When Molly began to unlace his trousers, he snapped back to his senses.

“Oh, Molly, you - you do not have to-“ he mumbled, face surely red as his hair. Molly shushed him, running his hands over Caleb’s thighs and hips.

“Do you want me to stop, love?”

“N-nein, I do not.”

“Then just relax and let me take care of you,” Molly purred, pressing a soft, teasing kiss to the clothed outline of Caleb’s cock. Caleb let his eyes fall closed and sighed, arousal coursing through him like adrenaline. _Gods, Molly is so fucking sexy._ It was hardly fair. And Molly had said that he might not be himself, might beg for it, but so far he hadn’t had to. That…might be something to explore later.

Molly continued coaxing him to full hardness with wet, open mouthed kisses, wrapping his lips around Caleb’s head, maddeningly light, and retreating.

“Ohhh, _Molly_ ,” he moaned, tangling his fingers in Molly’s curls. By the time Molly pulled him out of his trousers, the fabric was damp from Molly’s mouth and his own leaking dick. All thoughts left him when Molly ran his tongue over the underside of his cock - _fuck, that forked tongue felt even better than he imagined_ \- and sucked lightly at the head.

Suddenly, Molly moved to the sensitive skin next to his hipbone and sank his teeth in, sucking and laving with his tongue. Caleb cried out at the sudden pleasure-pain and squirmed away as his hips jerked upward, the sensation too much and yet not enough. Molly popped off and smirked at his handiwork, a purple bruise blooming on Caleb’s skin with Molly’s distinctive bite marked in darker indents.

“I thought it was only fair you should have one to match,” Molly teased.

Caleb’s words from last night - “ _I want everyone who tries to bed you to know that you are mine” -_ echoed in his mind. _Fuck,_ that was hot.

When Molly finally, _finally_ took his cock in his mouth, Caleb’s eyes rolled back and his head hit the couch with an audible _thunk_. An embarrassingly high whine left him and when he raised his head, face already hot, to look at Molly, the sight was positively divine. Molly was gazing up at him through thick, lowered lashes, his tongue just visible under Caleb’s cock, protecting the delicate skin from his lower fangs. He looked completely content, just the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. When he took a deep breath and pushed further, making the head of Caleb’s cock hit the back of his throat, his eyes fluttered shut and he _moaned_ from his chest in a way that Caleb felt through his entire body. He silently thanked whatever powers had given him a photographic memory, because he never wanted to forget _that_ image.

Molly started to move rhythmically, his head bobbing up and down, and Caleb lost himself to the pleasure, unable to think of anything coherent, only sensations and need and his building orgasm. Molly shifted on the floor, spreading his legs, and slipped a hand down the front of his leggings. At the sight of Molly touching himself, Caleb’s hips bucked involuntarily, pushing his cock into Molly’s hot, tight throat. Molly made a choking sound that made panic rush over Caleb, and he put a hand on Molly’s forehead - “Molly, Molly, are you alright, I am so sorry” - so he could pull back. Molly, however, had other ideas, taking Caleb’s hand in his and placing it on his horn with a wink.

“A-are you sure?” Caleb managed, hardly able to form a sentence with Molly swallowing him down. Molly pulled off his cock with an obscene wet sound and rasped,

“I come with blowjob handles, darling, use them.”

Holy _shit_. Caleb didn’t need to be told twice, his head falling back and eyes closing as Molly took him back in, his cock sliding back down Molly’s throat with only a moment’s resistance this time. He could hear the slick sounds of Molly’s fingers on his own cock, feel the whimpers and moans shoot up his spine when he grasped Molly’s horns and experimentally canted his hips upward. It took them a moment to find a rhythm, but when they did, it was heaven, the still air of the study filled with their moans, the wet sounds of Molly’s mouth on Caleb and and Molly’s fingers inside himself.

“You are perfect, Molly, so perfect,” he gasped, brain scrambled from pleasure, unsure if he was speaking Common or Zemnian, “My gorgeous, radiant, perfect Mollymauk…”

Molly whined, high and needy, around his cock, and suddenly shuddered, grasping at Caleb’s shirt, body spasming as he reached his climax. He looked up at Caleb with glassy, heavy-lidded eyes and took him deeper, pulling a groan out of Caleb’s chest that surprised even him. Caleb felt Molly push his legs apart and suddenly, a slick finger was pressing at his entrance, eliciting a strangled cry. The sensation of Molly’s finger, slick with himself - no, with _both_ of them - pushing into him as Molly sucked him, _hard_ , pushed him over. His orgasm hit him by surprise and he only had time to gasp out,

“Ah, _a_ _h, Molly, I-“_ before he was crying out, his cock pumping spend into Molly’s throat. Molly moaned loudly and accepted it, still fingering Caleb lazily. He skillfully found Caleb’s prostate and pressed on it mercilessly as Caleb came down, knocking the wind from his lungs and making his whole body arch up off the couch. What little he hadn’t already released shot from his softening cock onto Molly’s tongue, who sucked it eagerly from Caleb’s tip until the pleasure became painful, and Caleb gently pulled his oversensitive dick out of Molly’s mouth. He was still panting, trying to catch his breath, when Molly slowly removed his finger, the spasms of his hole around the moving digit sending warm waves of a different kind of pleasure through him.

Caleb relaced his trousers with shaky hands, slumped against the arm of the couch, when Molly clambered up next to him and wormed his way under Caleb’s arm.

“Was, um, was that good for you?” Caleb asked.

“I came twice, so I’d say so,” Molly purred. “I don't think you noticed the first but I came when I started choking on your cock." Caleb went bright red, embarrassment washing over him. "Is the potion working? Ready to go again?” Caleb stared at Molly.

“It is definitely working, because I am still conscious, but I am only mortal, _Schatz_. And you are very good at that.”

“And don’t I know it.”

“Are you really wanting to go again already?” Molly shook his head, nuzzling against Caleb’s shoulder. He was noticeably cooler, his body no longer giving off heat like a bonfire.

“Not yet.” He yawned. “Could go for a nap though. Take me to bed?”

“I will, but for real we are going to sleep, ja?”

“Oh absolutely,” Molly promised. “But, I mean, we don’t have to get out of bed once we’re awake…” Caleb rolled his eyes, but stood and stretched. Molly tossed his arms over Caleb’s neck and hopped up into his arms, holding himself up with powerful legs wrapped around Caleb’s waist. Caleb grinned and laced his hands under Molly’s hips to support him.

And if it took them a bit longer to reach the bedroom because they couldn’t stop making out, well, Caleb didn’t think that was anybody’s business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say that I'm losing track of comments I have/haven't responded to but I am grateful for each and every one of them! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this and the positive feedback motivates me to write more, so thank you! :D
> 
> If anyone is wondering about the mechanics of the calligrapher's tools (probably literally nobody), as a DM I have allowed my wizard to use them to copy down spell scrolls and thus add their proficiency bonus to the associated Arcana check. I use several homebrew rules like that to make toolkits more useful.
> 
> (And yes, these two idiots are still on their bullshit of "just friends". I promise I'll make it up to you.)


	5. I keep it to myself, I know what it means

Later that night, Caleb was lying in bed journaling when Molly came back with a teapot.

“Trying to ward off the shakes,” he explained, placing it on the nightstand. “Hopefully this is the last night I have to worry about them.” Caleb tried to ignore the lead in his stomach and subtly shifted away from Molly when he climbed into bed, keeping his journal close to his chest.

“How long have you had that?” Molly asked, opening his own book and nodding towards the journal.

“Oh…um, I am not sure. Many years now. Probably most of my life.” Molly was quiet, but Caleb could see the gears turning.

“You ever share it with anyone? Nott?”

“Nein, never,” he replied sharply, regretting the edge in his tone the second he heard it. Molly didn’t press. “Why, why do you ask?” Caleb asked, trying to be more gentle, though his pulse was pounding. Molly shrugged, still looking at his novel.

“Just curious. You keep a lot to yourself. It’d be interesting to get a peek under your cover. I imagine one would learn a lot of things about you from that book.” Seeing the look on Caleb’s face, he quickly added, “Don’t worry, Caleb, I’m not going to look. That’s your private business.” The two were quiet for a few moments.

“It’s a smart thing to do,” Molly said softly. “I sometimes wish I had thought to do that, you know, before.” Caleb looked up at Molly in surprise. He’d only ever heard Molly proclaim total disinterest in whoever he used to be. He closed his journal but Molly kept his eyes firmly on his book. He said nothing, and just waited for Molly to speak.

“Sometimes I think maybe I ought to start one. Though I don’t care to repeat the experience, should I ever wake up again in a shallow grave, might be nice to have a map at least. Or…names. Of people who cared about me.”

Caleb didn’t quite know what to say. Not for the first time, he began to consider the gravity, the sheer trauma, of what Molly had been through, coughing up dirt in a lonely, silent tomb. No memory of a life lived before, childhood, friendships, family, love, all lost. Perhaps worse, nobody who came looking for him. What life does someone have to live to end up with that? Nobody who even cares enough to mark your grave? And why _would_ Molly want to go back to that life, or even have anything to do with it? _You should know._

“You know, I have…lost time, also,” he said quietly. “There are things I don’t remember, from my time at the Academy, or when I was…well, from after. I know it is not the same, but....” He held up his journal. “Sometimes I wish I had not written it down. Some things are better forgotten, Mollymauk.”

“Is that why you changed your name?” Molly asked, turning towards him. “You could have gone back to your old name if you’d wanted. Once you told it to us, the cat was out of the bag. We’d have called you anything you liked in public.” Caleb thought for a moment.

“Ja, I suppose. I cannot take back the things that I have done but I can at least keep pretending.” Caleb’s chest stung at the self-deprecation, but he pushed it down.

“Well you aren’t the same person anymore,” Molly insisted. _If only that were true._ Caleb gave him a small, sad smile.

“I do not know if that matters. I cannot erase it. Not just with…my parents. People who are still living, too. I cannot simply toss up my hands and say that that was someone else. Or that I have grown, or changed? That does not matter to the people who suffer every day because of me. I killed people, Mollymauk, innocent people. I _tortured_ people.” He could feel emotion welling in his throat and begged it to stay down.

Molly was quiet for a long moment, and scooted closer.

“You're right.” The dam in Caleb’s throat threatened to burst, and he swallowed hard, refusing to look at Molly, unable to move his head for fear it would give him away. _He thinks you’re a monster._ Molly took his hand.

“You can’t take back what’s in the past,” Molly continued. “You can still move on from it. I told Beau once, I try to leave every place a little better than how I found it. Just a little happier, a little nicer.” _He only needs to walk into a room to do that. Everything_ you _touch turns to ash._ “I think, maybe, that we can sort of…learn to live with these things. You don’t ever have to forgive yourself for them. But you have suffered tremendously, Caleb…beating yourself up for your mistakes for the rest of your life, not letting yourself have any goodness or happiness, doesn’t bring any of those people back either. You know?”

“I do.” He didn’t say anything else.

“I just don’t like to see you so sad. That’s all. You’re better than you give yourself credit for.”

“Thank you, Mollymauk.” Molly lifted Caleb’s hand over his shoulders and nested in the crook of his arm.

“Could I tell you a story? I think it’ll make you laugh.” He looked down at Molly, whose earnestness was plain on his face, and couldn’t help a small smile.

“If you like.” Molly turned Caleb’s palm over in his hand and traced his fingers over grooves, calluses, silvered scar tissue and freckles.

“Well, this happened when I came to…well I don’t even really remember now, some tiny, tiny little town somewhere on the Amber Road, it was the first stop of the circus after I joined. I was pretty drunk in the town’s only inn and there was this just absolutely gorgeous boy at the bar, he was young, you know, like my age, but he had this stunning white hair, sort of down to the shoulders, and these blue eyes that were just to die for…. You know how I just faint for blue eyes. Um. Anyway. We were talking forever, and he was buying me drinks, and so finally of course I invited him to come up with me. I’ll spare the messy details but come to find out, he’s the innkeeper’s son, the innkeeper busts in when we’re halfway to buck naked and chased me out without even letting me collect my clothes! I mean, he was a grown man, it seemed a little overbearing, but who am I to judge? Anyway, I had to run out past everyone with my pants hanging open and sleep in the wagon the rest of the time we were in town! If she saw me anywhere near the inn, hoo boy, dishes would fly.”

The image was too funny for Caleb not to laugh, Molly in his ridiculous patterned pants and no shirt hightailing it out of a podunk inn with a shouting middle aged woman chasing him.

“Have you got a good one?” Molly asked, looking up at him.

“Hmm?”

“A good story!”

“Oh…ah, let me see. Well, I have one you might think is funny. Blumenthal has an annual festival in the summer, with dancing and everything, and it is always a big event, especially when you’re young. When I was a child, it was such an exciting thing, there was always music and festive foods, and then when I was a teenager, it was the big event of the year, everyone wanting to know who was going with who, you know. So once, when I was probably sixteen or so, on the day of the festival, I went next door to ask our neighbor if she had any of this local almond liqueur that my mother needed for a cake. And the neighbor girl, Hedda, was by herself and absolutely distraught, in tears, because she had tried to use a hot fire iron to curl her hair for the festival and had burned some of it off. I suggested that she could braid it, and hide the missing hair that way, and so she asked for my help.”

“You know how to braid hair?”

“Well, I know how to braid rope. I grew up on a farm. The basic motions were the same. Or at least I thought so.”

“Oh gods, what did you do?” Molly gasped.

“I really did do my best. But gods, Molly, her hair looked like Shakaste’s at the end. It is a good look on him, but did not work so well for a sixteen year old Zemnian girl. Thankfully, most people in Blumenthal were too poor to afford mirrors, so she was never the wiser.”

“Didn’t anyone say something to the poor girl? Wasn’t she ridiculed?”

“Nein, you see, I tried to fix that. So I told as many of the other girls as I could that it was the latest fashion in Rexxentrum, and since I was back from the Academy for the summer, they had no reason to doubt it. I took her as my date and danced with her most of the night, because I did not want the boys to make fun of her hair or ask her about it, and it was my fault she looked that way, so… I thought my plan was done for when other girls came up to her and complimented her on her 'unique' hairstyle, and it really did look awful. But they thought it was the latest thing, and that Hedda was on the cutting edge, so to speak. And so she found out, but she also was very grateful that I had covered for her. The next year, all the girls were wearing their hair like that, I heard, if you can believe it.”

“Did you ever date her?” Molly asked, still playing with his hand. Caleb flushed.

“Ah, I would not say we _dated_ , necessarily-“

“Mister Caleb! A deflowerer of maidens in your youth, eh? I should have known.” Caleb blushed harder.

“I am not sure I would say so. I was only home for the summer and we both knew it. Of course, we thought we were being very sneaky, but I am sure now that our parents knew and probably would have encouraged it - not the, you know, _that_ , but a relationship. If I had married her, her family could have attached their farm to ours, and our parents would have succeeded in keeping their children close to home and growing old with a troupe of redheaded grandchildren to look after.”

“Do you ever wish it had gone that way?” Molly asked quietly. Caleb was silent for a long moment, choosing his words carefully.

“Nein. I wish…that things had not happened as they did. But I had arcane talents long before it…went wrong. I could have, I suppose, stayed in Blumenthal, and done the usual thing, but I would have always wondered if there was more out there for me, more to learn and greater uses for my gifts. I do not think that I would have been happy with that life.”

“I don’t think you would have either,” Molly said sleepily. “There is more out there for you.”

“I hope you are right, Mollymauk,” Caleb sighed, running his fingers through Molly’s hair.

~~~

When Caleb awoke Whelsen morning, he had three thoughts.

  1. He had slept through the night for the first time in gods knew how long.
  2. He was _sore_.
  3. Tomorrow morning they would probably be going home.



Molly was still asleep, having migrated down to curl up against Caleb’s chest in the night. His soft, even breathing and the adorable way his tail wrapped around him when he slept made Caleb’s chest ache.

_You’re falling in love with him._

The realization smacked him in the face like a book launched from across the room. He couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of here. He needed to think. Legs shaking, he tossed the covers off and slipped out of bed as quickly as he dared to avoid waking Molly.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

Caleb dashed down the hall to the bathroom and locked himself in, dropping down to sit on the edge of the granite tub.

_Don’t panic. You aren’t. You aren’t._

The more he repeated it to himself, the more false it felt. He took deep, even breaths, trying to stave off the dread welling up in his chest and ignore the dueling voices in his head.

_-Lots of people sleep with someone and then think they’ve got feelings for them. It doesn’t mean you do._

_-But that’s never happened to you before. You’ve never thought you were falling in love with someone_ only _because you fell into bed with them._

- _Even if you are, what are you going to do about it? He doesn’t want you like that. This was a bad, bad, bad idea._

_-But what if he does?_

_-He doesn’t. Get a grip. Ride out the last day and you’ll go home and things will go back to normal. You’ll get over this little crush or whatever it is. You can fake normalcy for just one more day._

As if there were anything normal about this situation.

Caleb didn’t return to the bedroom, instead grabbing a shirt and his boots and going out to Jannik’s paddock. He busied himself with feeding the moorbounder, brushing him and filling his water trough.

“ _What do you think, boy, are you ready to go home?_ ” he sighed. Jannik didn't understand Zemnian, but he snuffled against Caleb, nosing at his pocket.

“ _Tomorrow, I think, depending on how Molly feels._ ” Jannik kept pushing at his coat.

“ _What, have I got something in there that you want?_ ” Caleb reached into his pocket and felt a peppermint candy, which he unwrapped with a grin and held out for Jannik, who slurped it up immediately.

“ _You’re a glutton for sweets, my friend. You should be Jester’s, not mine. I hear Yarnball gets pastry. Would you like that?_ ” Jannik gave him a bemused, uncomprehending face and allowed Caleb to scratch him behind the earholes.

Caleb snapped Frumpkin around his shoulders and petted the cat absentmindedly as he leaned against the paddock gate, watching Jannik lumber around and look for a good spot to spend a very busy day of sunbathing. Frumpkin started purring, which immediately made him think of Molly, laying in bed under Caleb’s arm and purring.

“ _Am I losing it?_ ” he murmured, stroking the cat steadily. “ _I’m being ridiculous, right? We’ve hardly been here three days._ ” Frumpkin, typically, didn’t respond. _“You know, you’re supposed to tell me yes, I am._ ” Frumpkin jumped down off his shoulders and scampered off across the paddock to chase after a moth, carefully avoiding the snoozing moorbounder.

“You are terrible at giving advice,” he called to Frumpkin in Common.

“Giving advice about what?”

Caleb almost jumped out of his skin, whirling around, his heart bottoming out into his stomach.

“ _Scheisse_ , Molly! You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“You’ll forgive me,” Molly said, striding up to the paddock. He looked gorgeous, as always, and his coat only accented his slim hips and angular shoulders- _Stop it!_ Caleb turned back to look at Frumpkin, trying to clear his head before facing Molly.

“Close your eyes,” Molly ordered, leaning over the fence. Caleb grumbled, but he did as Molly asked.

“Open your mouth.”

“Absolutely no-“ Molly popped a bite of pastry into his mouth, which he chewed slowly. “Can I open my eyes now?” he muttered.

“Yes, Mister Crabby. What’s gotten into you?”

Caleb sighed and wiped a hand over his face.

“Nothing, do not worry. Just woke early, I suppose. Did you make those?” he asked, trying to lighten his voice. _No need to take your bad mood out on him._ Molly placed a sticky bun in his hand.

“No, I went out for them. I also woke up pretty early, so I popped off to grab some raisin buns. These ones have _banana_ in them, all the way from the Menagerie Coast, isn’t that neat?”

“How is it that you are making all these jaunts downtown and I have not seen you leave even once?” Molly shrugged with a grin.

“Might want to try pulling your face out of the books once in a while, darling,” he teased, tapping Caleb on the nose. _Something is weird._ Caleb frowned and pressed the back of his hand to Molly’s forehead.

“You feel…cool. Are you finished already?” he asked. His stomach sank like a cannonball. Molly shook his head.

“No, I woke up in uh, quite a state and you weren’t there so, fortunately I brought my cock along.” Caleb choked on his pastry, coughing and still red-faced when he looked back at a smirking Molly, still leaning on the fence.

“Your _what_?”

“Oh, love, you can’t possibly be shocked.Doesn’t work as well as the real thing for staving off the heat, but it does the job well enough. I’m sure you’ve seen a dildo before.”

“Ah- yes, I mean, I have, I just - did not know you had one.”

“I have a harness for it too,” Molly purred, resting his chin in his hand, and Caleb felt the spade of Molly’s tail lightly caress his ass. “If you’d like to try it sometime.” For a long moment, Caleb forgot how to form sentences.

“Oh.”

“Don’t have to!” Molly assured him quickly.

“No, I - yes. I would like to.”

Caleb was crimson-faced now, brain still sputtering but catching up with Molly’s suggestion. As an avid reader of smut books, he was familiar, at least superficially, with any number of saucy goods invented for sexual pleasure: underwear without a crotch, canes capped with feathers and tassels, and he even once saw, on the Menagerie Coast, a very complicated device that involved a leather cap that you were supposed to put over the head of your cock, and two enchanted vibrating metal balls attached to either side. The owner of the shop had showed it to him and said that it was very popular with sailors, and he was sure he couldn’t have been redder when that made him think of Fjord. But for all his patronage of smut shops, he gravitated immediately to the literature section, and had never purchased anything else, beyond essential supplies in anticipation of potentially getting lucky (most of which were gathering dust in a bedside drawer back at home).

“Then good thing we’ve still got a day before wego home, yeah? Come on inside, darling, it’s freezing out here, and I’ve got hot coffee on the stove.” Molly looped his arm in Caleb’s and he let himself be led to the kitchen.

_Just enjoy it while you can. You can sort your shit out later._

The majority of Whelsen was surprisingly calm, in comparison to yesterday and the day before. He actually had several uninterrupted hours; though Molly had jumped him for a quickie mid-morning, he had kissed Caleb on the head after and said that he would make himself scarce so Caleb could work. It was a legitimately relaxing afternoon. Molly was quiet as a mouse, reading on the couch next to the desk. It was clear that Molly’s heat was in fact winding down, his body not nearly as scalding hot in his aroused state and his desire less frequent.

At one point in the afternoon, Caleb moved to the couch to read too, each of them stretched out against an armrest. He was halfway through his book when Molly’s tail slid over the back of the couch, where Caleb’s arm was resting, and wrapped around his wrist. Caleb tried to ignore how his heart somersaulted when he felt Molly’s touch, and he opened his hand silently so Molly could lay the spade in his palm.

Caleb was back at the desk in the study, the evening closing in, and his focus was fading. He ran his fingers over the groove in the desk that Molly’s horn had made yesterday. _Mmmm._ He wanted to make Molly cum like _that_ again. Molly had gone up for a bath some time ago, unwrapping his tail from Caleb’s hand and promising to be back down to make dinner.

“Caleb? Could you help me with something?” Molly shouted from the second floor. Caleb jumped up, a bit relieved to be put to some other task for all the difficulty his spellwork was giving him.

“Ja, I am coming, “ he announced, hopping up the stairs. He went first to the bathroom, thinking Molly was there, but it was empty.

“In here, darling,” Molly called, hearing his steps in the hall. Caleb stepped into the bedroom, confused for a moment as he looked around the room, seeking Molly. Suddenly, the door clicked shut behind him and he felt Molly’s hands at his waist. He tried to turn around, but Molly pushed him against the door and kissed him fiercely. His tongue was insistent, pressing against Caleb’s mouth, and he opened for it easily, sighing. Molly’s mouth was hot, his hands were burning, and Caleb’s body reacted to the heat as it had been conditioned to over the last few days. He could feel his cock start to stir as they made out against the door, but it didn’t stay uncommitted for long, as Molly fisted a hand in his hair and growled in his ear,

“On your knees.”

 _Oh._ Caleb went to the ground immediately, unquestioning, and that was when he saw that Molly was wearing the harness that he’d mentioned earlier, straps of delicious looking black leather, dark against lavender skin, criss-crossing over Molly’s hips and thighs. Between his legs was a thick, gorgeously carved purple cock. He let out a moan, his mouth gone dry.

“Is this alright?” Molly asked quietly, running his fingers over Caleb’s scalp.

“ _Ja,_ Mollymauk, it is very, very much alright,” he managed. Molly grinned.

“Good. You know, being in heat makes me more inclined to be submissive, but…I just thought you would look so pretty down on the floor like that.” His voice was low and hot now, just a hint of growl in it that reminded Caleb of the sound of Infernal. Gods above, he wasn’t going to last long. Molly stepped closer and Caleb laid kisses over Molly’s thighs, his face already flushed with arousal. Molly tightened his fingers in Caleb’s hair and pulled him upright on his knees. His face was level with Molly’s cock now, and he wanted so badly to get his mouth on it, but that wasn’t how this game was played.

“You know what to do with it,” Molly cooed. “Or at least I assume you do. You went to boarding school, after all. Go on.” Caleb was actually a little uncertain what to do - after all, Molly couldn’t feel it - but he thought that if Molly wanted to see him like this, he ought to give him what he’d given any other gorgeous man he’d kneel down for. Molly wanted to watch him suck cock, he didn’t care that he couldn’t feel it.

It took Caleb a moment to get used to the sensation. Unlike the real thing, the dildo wasn’t soft, or flexible, and didn’t respond to his touch the same way. But after a few experimental licks and open mouthed kisses, looking up into Molly's eyes all the way, he became more comfortable with it. Caleb hadn’t felt this submissive, this pliant, in a long time; he closed his eyes and enjoyed Molly’s little sighs and hums of approval, the feeling of Molly’s hands in his hair, and Molly’s intense, lustful gaze on him when he looked up to meet it. The scent of Molly’s desire filled his nose and he just enjoyed the feeling of Molly’s weight on his tongue, the way Molly’s cock slid so smoothly between his lips. He made sure to show off a little for Molly, taking him as deep as he could, taking his time running his tongue over it and sucking the tip like he sucked on Molly’s real cock. He was aching, his cock responding quickly to Molly’s assertion of dominance, and he almost choked when he felt the tip of Molly’s foot pressing lightly on his bulge. It didn’t hurt, but the pressure was delicious and the power imbalance was dizzyingly arousing. Molly caressed his clothed cock with the ball of his foot, maintaining just the slightest pressure.

“Undress and get on the bed,” Molly ordered, gently pulling his cock out of Caleb’s mouth. He did as he was told, disrobing silently and sitting on the edge of the bed. Molly smiled slowly.

“How good you are.” He stood in front of Caleb, pulled his head back by his hair and kissed him again, hard. “Now, here’s the rules. I don’t want to hear a word from you, unless it’s to say you want to stop or that something doesn’t feel right, or unless I ask you a question. But I do want to hear every one of those pretty noises you make for me. I don’t want you muffling yourself or putting your fist in your mouth like I’ve seen you do before, got it?” Caleb nodded, feeling safe and hazy and ready to be obedient.

“Good boy. Do you trust me?”

“Ja, Mollymauk, I trust you,” Caleb responded quietly. It was what Molly wanted to hear, but it was also the truth. He did trust Molly.

“Good. Because you know that I would never do anything to hurt you, right? And that right now, I’m in charge, because I want to keep you safe, right? And you know that if you say no, or stop, that you only have to say the word, right, and we stop?” Caleb felt a prickle in his throat that he cleared away. He had not always had that reassurance, in the past. The rush of emotion was not out of relief, for he had never doubted Molly, but out of gratitude for Molly’s care to make sure he knew that he was safe.

“Ja, I know.”

“Good. Now, lay down.”

Caleb lay back, and Molly perched over him, his tail lashing behind him in excitement. If that wasn’t a picture Caleb wanted to keep forever…. The warmth radiating from Molly relaxed him, Molly’s mouth on his neck familiar yet exciting.

“You’ve made me feel so good these last few days, baby,” Molly murmured, kissing and biting softly over his neck and collarbone. “Thought I should return the favor…”

Caleb opened his mouth to respond, to tell Molly that really, he didn’t have to do that, Caleb had enjoyed himself too, but he remembered that Molly had told him to keep quiet and he snapped his mouth shut. Molly noticed and gave him a wicked smirk, his eyes smoldering as he held himself over Caleb.

“Were you about to argue with me, darling? Tell me how I don’t _need_ to do that, or some such thing?” Caleb bit his lip but stayed silent. Molly could read him too well.

“Let me tell you how this is going to go, Mister Caleb. I’m going to have my way with you. Which means, I’m going to take my time and taste, and touch, and please every inch of you, and then I’m going to take this pretty ass and make you forget your own name. And you’re going to let me tell you how good you are, and how handsome you are, and how much you please me, and you aren’t going to argue with me, or tell me that you aren’t good, or you aren’t handsome, or you’re _average_ , or you don’t _deserve it,_ because I don’t tolerate people speaking badly about what belongs to me. Do you understand?”

Caleb didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. Normally, that wasn’t how these games of power went. Normally, he would have braced himself to receive pain, and he could take a lot of it, to be degraded, and that was easy. He could do that with Molly, because he knew Molly didn’t mean it. He could have done it even if Molly had meant it. It was a test of endurance that he knew how to win. This was different. Molly saw through him to what was hardest for him, what he actually couldn't stand accepting, and that wasn’t pain or punishment, it was praise.

“Good boy,” Molly murmured, bending down to kiss him, slow and sensual, tongues sliding between them. He didn’t muffle himself this time, letting Molly hear each small sigh of contentment pulled from him with each press of Molly’s lips.

Molly hadn’t told him not to touch, so he ran his hands over Molly’s back, enjoying the movement of muscle under skin, the minute shifts of Molly’s body. Molly wasn’t holding himself up anymore, leaving his hands free to caress Caleb’s skin. His weight was strangely comforting, allowing Caleb to relax and sink into a haze of pliability and arousal. Molly ran his tongue into the dips of Caleb’s collarbone, his hands grazing over tense, freckled shoulders.

“You’re so strong, love,” Molly purred. Caleb snorted derisively before he could stop himself. Molly didn’t pause, just kept laying kisses and sucking love bites over Caleb’s clavicle.

“You are,” he continued simply, as if he were stating a fact. “Don’t have to be strong here-“ Molly’s fingers squeezed his bicep, “-to be strong here.” His fingers drifted down to Caleb’s sternum, ghosting over the spot his heart lay. “You’ve got more strength there than just about anyone I’ve ever met.”

Molly sat up, still straddling Caleb, and pulled one of Caleb’s hands up to his face. He kissed over into Caleb’s palm, leaving no scar or line untouched. When he took two fingers in his mouth and sucked them lustily, winking, Caleb groaned, stroking Molly’s jaw with his thumb. He wanted to tell Molly how gorgeous he was, how perfect he looked like this, but he kept it back, as he’d been told, and allowed Molly to shower him with praises without reciprocating. That felt so wrong, it was too much, more than he deserved, but each honeyed word that fell from Molly’s lips made an ache bloom in his chest that he couldn’t name.

_You’re falling in love with him._

For the first time all day, the thought that had been rolling through his head didn’t terrify him. For the first time all day, he entertained the possibility that he might not be the only one of the two of them to feel that way.

“You do so much good with these powerful hands, darling,” Molly hummed. “You keep us all safe…every scar and burn just shows all you’ve risked for the people you love. And I don’t think I need to tell you how talented I think these fingers are.” Molly grinned and nipped at Caleb’s fingertips, and Caleb couldn’t help but smile. His discomfort with Molly’s words was there, the part of him that said, _He’s lying to you._ Somehow, it didn’t matter. Molly was saying it, Molly wanted him to believe it, and maybe that was enough.

“Every time you put those fingers in me, mmm, I could cum right then and there,” Molly continued, releasing Caleb’s hand so he could thumb over Caleb's nipples. “You know just how to touch me, you make me feel so good with them, baby….” The calluses on Molly’s thumbs felt delicious gliding over his chest, and he was hardly conscious anymore of the moans and sighs he was letting out.

Molly shifted, nuzzling into the auburn hair on Caleb’s chest, so he could take one of Caleb’s nipples into his mouth, and when he did, Caleb felt the cool hardness of Molly’s cock against him, sliding against his hard, flushed length. Molly canted his hips forward, clearly seeking more of the noises Caleb made in response to the contact. His tongue flicked over Caleb’s nipple, and he switched between them, sucking and playing, until Caleb was desperate under him, groaning with need and arching his back, craving more.

“I know what you want, dear, but I’m not finished with you,” Molly teased. He reached behind him on the table with his tail and retrieved a small jar of oil, which he applied to his hand. “You’re being so good for me, you’re just gorgeous laid out like this… I could keep you here all night, just looking at you. But I’m afraid I have other things on my agenda.” His hand gripped both of their cocks in one slick hand, his hips rolling forward so that his length would slide against Caleb’s. Caleb moaned, his toes curling and hips bucking up into Molly’s hand.

“Oh, _Molly, Molly….”_ Molly sighed and put his other hand on Caleb’s jaw, thumb brushing over his lips.

“Shhh, don’t forget the rules, baby,” Molly said gently. He pressed his thumb into Caleb’s mouth, and Caleb accepted it readily, sucking heartily while he stared into Molly’s eyes. If the bastard was playing at role-reversal, he wanted to drive Molly as wild as Molly drove him when they fucked. Molly seemed to appreciate it, flushing further and groaning, rolling his hips more desperately even though he couldn’t feel the touches the way Caleb could.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Molly whispered breathlessly. “I wanted to tease you more, but gods, Caleb, I really can’t wait any longer, I need to be inside you…”

“Ja, ja, please, Molly, _Schatz_ , I need you-“ he begged, too aroused to be ashamed. Molly kneeled between his legs the way he had done the first night they were here, his cock resting deliciously against Caleb’s.

“Gods, I want you so bad,” Molly murmured, reapplying oil to his fingers and spreading Caleb’s legs. “Now, darling, be honest with me, this isn’t new for you, is it?” Caleb flushed.

“ _Nein_ , of course not.”

“I didn’t think so, I just wanted to be sure. You have to tell me if anything hurts. I want to make sure you’re good and ready before I wreck you.” Molly grinned at him wolfishly and Caleb wasn’t sure he could take much more of Molly’s teasing. “Let’s turn off that brilliant brain of yours for a little while, yeah?”

Caleb was about to break the rule and respond that Molly had done that for him plenty of times already, but the wind was knocked out of him along with intelligent thought when he felt Molly’s warm, slick finger circling and pressing at his entrance. He let out a choked moan, meeting Molly’s intense gaze breathlessly before shutting his eyes and letting his head fall back. Molly entered him slowly, cautiously, clearly enjoying his reactions. He knew he was flushed from his face to his chest now, squirming under Molly’s touch and making whimpers and gasps that seemed to delight Molly.

“I’m going to give you another, alright?” The windedness in Molly’s voice gave away just how much this was affecting him too, how aroused he was to take Caleb apart like this. Caleb nodded eagerly, and Molly’s second finger slipped in alongside the first, eliciting a stammering moan that was loud enough to embarrass him a little. He threw his arm over his face, panting, as Molly worked him open, but before long he felt Molly’s fingers lace in his and gently pull his arm down to the mattress.

“I told you, love, no hiding from me. I want to see you.” Caleb bit his lip and nodded, trying very hard to keep it together, but then Molly slid a third finger past his tight rim and he was gone, clutching at the sheets, almost sobbing with want.

“That’s it,” Molly breathed, stretching him gently. “I bet that feels so good, baby…you look amazing. I wish I could always make you make that face. So handsome and so good, you’re doing so good, letting yourself take your pleasure.” Molly pressed on his sweet spot and he moaned happily, rocking his hips to try to get more.

“ _Molly, please…”_

“Shhhh, I’m all yours, gorgeous. Are you ready for me?”

“Ja, ja, more than ready…” Molly pulled his fingers out, making Caleb whine with the loss, and shifted forward to give him another kiss, wet and open-mouthed and filthy.

“How do you want me, baby?” Molly panted, his arms trembling with his arousal.

“ _Want to ride you_ ,” he groaned, without thinking, but as soon as he said it, he knew it _was_ what he wanted. Molly smirked.

“Common, darling, I can’t understand you when you’re speaking Zemnian.” Caleb hadn’t realized he wasn’t speaking Common.

“C-can I ride you?” he mumbled, suddenly shy.

“Of course, love. I want to see how lovely you look coming undone on my cock.” Molly rolled over and gently guided Caleb on top of him. Caleb sat back and took Molly’s slicked cock in hand, adjusting it to line up with his entrance and sinking back onto it. There were fireworks behind his eyes, Molly’s length opening him, and he was so _full, so good, gods, Molly, fuck_ , and it took him a moment to realize he was babbling out loud.

“Oh yes, that’s it, so good for me, you’re perfect, so beautiful,” Molly moaned, so clearly aroused even though he couldn’t feel it himself. Caleb rolled his hips on Molly’s cock, sparks of pleasure coursing through him as the head dragged over his prostate. Before long, he was riding Molly in earnest, one hand gripping the headboard, loud gasps and cries spilling from his lips. Molly was bucking his hips upward, pushing his cock deeper into Caleb’s ass, and it felt amazing, so fucking good, and Molly was looking up at him like a man in worship, and he knew he wasn’t going to last.

Molly was running his hands over Caleb’s thighs, his chest, whispering praises that he mostly couldn’t hear through the rush of blood in his ears. Molly slicked his hand with the oil and took Caleb’s cock, stroking it in time with the upward thrust of his hips.

“You’re so stunning when you cum, baby, won’t you do it for me?” Molly asked sweetly, angling his hips just right to hit the spot inside Caleb that made him collapse over Molly, keening, as he released all over their stomachs.

He lay against Molly for a moment, catching his breath, pressing kisses to Molly’s shoulders and neck and lips. The low rumble in Molly’s chest nourished the tender ache in his own. He lifted off Molly’s cock gently, shuddering as it pulled out and caught on his sensitive rim. Molly started to unbuckle the straps, shimmying out of the leather so he could curl up against Caleb at the head of the bed.

“I will take care of you in just a moment, _Schatz_ ,” he murmured. “I just…need a minute.” Molly traced patterns over Caleb’s chest with one long finger.

“So that was good, then?”

“ _Ja_ , _Liebling_ , very, very good.” He came down off his orgasm and lifted his head, looking around. “Where is that oil?” Molly retrieved it from the foot of the bed and handed it to him. “Thank you. Lay down on your stomach for me?”

Molly raised an eyebrow at him, but did so. Caleb knelt next to Molly and drizzled a bit of the oil over his back.

“Let me do this for you, ja? I need a little bit of time to recover, unless you just want my mouth or my fingers. Whatever you want.”

“No, I can wait,” Molly sighed. “I came already. The base of the cock fits inside me. But I won’t say no to a second round.” Caleb couldn’t find it in him to argue with that tantalizing offer. He rubbed the tension out of Molly’s muscles in long, slow strokes, letting the warmth of their skin heat the oil and sink into Molly’s back. Molly was purring again, relaxed, and his muscles were pliable; Caleb enjoyed lavishing care on every little part of Molly, letting Molly’s body accept the affection he couldn’t give with his words.

_You are stupidly, hopelessly, recklessly in love._

Caleb smiled a bit to himself. _And so what?_ Whether or not Molly felt the same way was almost irrelevant. He hoped, of course, that he shared these feelings, but that didn’t seem likely and he would never say them out loud. It would hurt him to only love Molly from a distance, but right now, he was happier than he had been in a very, very long time, and for once, he was going to let himself enjoy that.

He loved the little noises of pleasure and relaxation Molly made, purrs and whines and sighs, and he loved even more that _he_ was the one making Molly make those noises. Arousal was starting to kindle in his core again; Molly was warm and wanting and _so_ fucking sexy under his hands.

Caleb started to lay kisses over Molly’s spine, the almond oil sweet on his tongue, running his hands over Molly’s sides and cupping his ass gently.

“Are you ready to go again, _Schatz_?” he whispered in Molly’s ear. Molly, still on his stomach, lifted his head, his tail thumping on the bed in excitement.  
  
“Yes! Are you?”

“I think I will be, in a moment.” They made out passionately, Caleb leaning over Molly’s shoulder to reach his lips. As they did, Caleb reached down over Molly’s ass and slid his hand between the tiefling’s legs, pushing them apart.

“‘M already wet,” Molly mumbled, not wanting to break the kiss. “Don’t need much…”

“I do not touch you like this only to get you ready for me, _Liebchen_. I also like to make you feel good.” He went back to kissing Molly, rewarded with a soft moan and Molly spreading his legs further, allowing Caleb to stroke over Molly’s folds and feel how dripping wet he was. He sighed, cock already stirring again in response to Molly’s body, and began kissing over Molly’s back and shoulders again.

“If you would, ah, lift your hips for me?” he asked. Molly did so and Caleb reseated himself behind Molly, adjusting Molly’s hips to the right angle.

“Ohhhhh, _fuck_ , baby,” Molly moaned when Caleb’s tongue slid over his wet, soft skin. Molly tasted sweet, like always, and rich, like fall berry wine, but there was a distinct earthiness to him this time too. He loved that he knew Molly’s body well enough, even just over the course of these last days, to detect such subtle changes, and that he could experience and appreciate the differences knowing that they were all part of Molly _._ He buried his tongue in Molly’s slick heat, letting Molly fill his senses. Knowing that he wouldn’t get this again, he tried to commit each moment to memory, each roll of Molly’s hips, each ridge and fold of Molly’s cunt, the sensation of Molly’s cock in his mouth and the way Molly moaned and rutted his hips back when he sucked it, each whine and whimper and plea for _more_ , _please, Caleb…_ He slipped a finger, then two, into Molly’s passage, relishing in the clench of the tight heat around his fingers and Molly’s moan of relief.

“How does that feel, _Kätzchen?”_ Caleb breathed, working his fingers in and out, curling them just right to press on Molly’s sweet spot. Molly shuddered and groaned underneath him, toes curling, and Caleb was already hard again, his arousal roaring through his blood from going down on Molly and pulling those sweet, sweet sounds from him.

“So fucking good, baby, it feels so good, please…”

“Please what?” he teased, pressing soft, playful kisses to Molly’s cock.

“Please give me your cock, I need you,” Molly begged, writhing on the bed, clutching at the sheets. Caleb grinned and kneeled between Molly’s spread legs. He wrapped an arm around Molly’s chest and pulled him into his lap, back to chest.

“Up you come, then, _Schatz_.”

“Fuck, I love when you talk in Zemnian to me,” Molly sighed, settling himself on Caleb’s thighs and reaching over his shoulder to run his fingers through Caleb’s curls. "So fucking hot." Caleb smirked and kept kissing and nipping at Molly’s neck.

“ _Mmmm_ , _do you?_ ” Molly groaned and rolled his hips over Caleb’s, Caleb’s cock sliding deliciously over Molly’s slick heat. He was laying open-mouthed kisses over Molly’s shoulder tattoo when Molly reached down and lined up Caleb’s dick so he could lower himself on it, taking him in one slick movement, and the sudden, surprising heaven of Molly surrounding him made him bite down, pulling a choked cry from Molly.

“Are you alright?” Caleb asked, alarmed. "I am so sorry." His arms, slung around Molly’s chest and hips, tightened, pulling the tiefling closer.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Molly managed. “I…really, really like it when you bite me.” Caleb sighed in relief and kissed the spot he’d accidentally bitten Molly, which was already blooming with a dark bruise.

“You want more?” he growled in Molly’s ear, starting to rock his hips up, thrusting maddeningly slowly into Molly.

“ _Yes, fuck yes, please,”_ Molly moaned, flushed and trembling on his lap. He grinned and continued to kiss over Molly’s cool skin, keeping a slow, steady rhythm in his thrusts.

“ _Your skin is almost too beautiful to dirty, Liebling_ ,” Caleb murmured in Zemnian, before he sank his teeth into Molly’s shoulderblade, tugging Molly’s nipple piercing as he did so. Molly shuddered and cried out, bucking his hips against Caleb’s. He was surprised he had the ability to form sentences, with Molly riding him, but he supposed being on his second orgasm gave him more endurance. He also had his arm firmly around Molly’s hips, controlling their speed, staving off the inevitable decline into incoherence.

“ _But I want everyone to see how well you’ve been fucked.”_ He worried another patch of skin between his teeth, biting hard as Molly clenched around him. He noticed then that Molly was touching himself, stroking his cock as he rolled his hips on Caleb. _Fuck,_ he loved watching that. But he reached around Molly’s waist and pushed his hand away gently.

“ _Let me, Schatz_.” Molly didn’t understand his words but clearly understood his intent as Caleb reached between Molly’s legs and massaged his dick.

“Ohhh, _fuck_ , Caleb, please don’t stop,” Molly panted, one hand still thrown over his shoulder, tangled in Caleb’s hair, the other pulling on one of his nipples.

“ _You don’t know what you do to me, Mollymauk, I can’t keep my hands off you…”_ Caleb groaned, hips unconsciously starting to work faster as he bit down on the back of Molly’s neck. He was losing his patient control quickly; his desire to keep teasing Molly was losing the race against his desire to fuck Molly into the mattress and make him cum until he couldn’t anymore. He was dimly aware of his gratitude that Molly couldn’t understand him as praise spilled from his mouth, freeing him to say what he felt without fear of Molly pushing him away.

 _“_ Gods, I love the way my name sounds in your accent,” Molly whined, grinding down on Caleb’s lap to take more of his cock.

“ _I’d say your name all day long if it made you happy, handsome,”_ Caleb breathed in Molly’s ear. “ _My soft, sweet, delicious, Mollymauk, bright and charming and warm Mollymauk, all mine.”_

He was losing his thoughts now, Molly surrounding him, scrambling his brain, and the obscene sounds of skin on skin as he thrusted, Molly’s absolutely filthy moans, were bringing him closer to the edge.

“I want to be on my knees,” Molly choked out, and Caleb used the arm around Molly’s hips to shift them forward so Molly was on his hands and knees.

“ _Better, Liebchen_?” he asked, kissing over Molly’s spine, long and beautiful and stretched out in front of him.

 _“_ I don’t speak Zemnian, darling,” Molly reminded him.  
  
“Ah, sorry - is this better?”

“Yes,” Molly managed, rolling his hips back against Caleb, making Caleb gasp out with pleasure. He felt Molly’s tail wrap around his arm and it pulled him down so his chest was pressed against Molly’s back again. The spade of Molly’s tail carded through his hair. Gods, Caleb wasn’t going to last long like this, Molly underneath him in this incredibly hot submissive position, so much warm skin against skin.

“I want you to fuck me so hard I cum on you like I did on the desk,” Molly blurted out as Caleb started thrusting into him again. Caleb almost lost it right there at that, and keened, embarrassingly loud, but he picked up the pace and shifted Molly’s hips roughly to get the right angle to hit Molly’s prostate. The rise in pitch of Molly’s cries let him know he was in the right spot and he pounded into Molly mercilessly, only partially conscious of his own desperate moans.

“Fuck, yes, baby, that’s it, that’s the right spot, keep fucking me like that,” Molly babbled, his chest completely flat on the bed now, his trembling limbs no longer holding him up.

“ _Does that feel good, Kätzchen?”_ he panted in Molly’s ear, who let out a high, stuttering moan in response. It was so fucking hot that his native tongue turned Molly on like that, he just wanted to make Molly make that noise more and more. He was reaching his own climax sooner rather than later, he knew, and he wanted to make Molly cum first.

“ _Do you like when I fuck you like this?_ ” Caleb reached between Molly’s legs and rubbed his cock, delighting in the feeling of Molly clenching hard around him. “ _Naughty boy. You look gorgeous spread like this for me.”_ He sank his teeth into Molly’s neck again, leaving a dark purple bite in lavender skin.

“I want you to cum,” he growled, pressing down on the mark he just made. Molly’s hands fisted in the sheets and he cried out,

“Ah, ah, _ah, ah, ah, Caleb!”_

Molly contracted around him, spasms wracking his thighs, and he keened, high and needy as Caleb felt a spatter of wet against his inner thighs. The grip of Molly’s body around his cock, so tight he was almost pushed out, broke his resistance, and he collapsed over Molly’s back, cumming with a wordless shout deep inside Molly’s wet, hot passage.

They were both slick with sweat now, catching their breath, Molly boneless on the mattress beneath him. Caleb pushed his damp hair back out of his eyes, pressing breathless kisses to Molly’s neck and shoulders. He pulled out gently as he softened, then laid down and gathered Molly to his chest, who was purring happily.

Neither said anything for a long while, just stroking over skin, kissing lazily, unhurried. Molly nuzzled into Caleb’s chest, pressing his face into the copper hair dusted over it.

Exhaustion was sinking into Caleb now; he felt like he could barely lift his hand to cast _Prestidigitation_ , and his lids were heavy. Before he knew it, he was drifting off into quiet, dreamless sleep.

~~~

When he woke, it was because he was starving. Blearily, he opened his eyes and remembered that he hadn’t eaten dinner, passing out straightaway after sex last night. Molly was splayed out on the sheets next to him, one arm and leg thrown over Caleb. He gently shifted Molly’s limbs, extracting himself from the bed as quietly as he could, put on his trousers and snuck downstairs.

Though it was dark outside as it always was in Rosohna, his internal clock told him it was in fact morning, just quite early, around dawn if he’d been able to see the sun.

Caleb rummaged through the sack of food from Caduceus and pulled out a bit of ham, grapes and salted fish, a new food for him since they’d come to the Xhorhassian coast. These were tiny oily fish that were supposed to be eaten whole, packed in salt to preserve them and sold by the handful, wrapped in paper. Not exactly the breakfast of heroes, but it’d do. The house was still and silent around him, and he stared out the window at Jannik, lumbering around in his paddock.

_This is it. You’re going home today._

The thought that he was in love with Molly was no longer panic inducing, and no longer a question. It felt like a fact, as easy and natural as breathing to say (to himself, anyway). Really, he knew, the seeds of loving Molly had been planted long before all this happened. He had a clarity, sitting there in the break of morning, that he hadn’t had in a long time. He loved Mollymauk.

What he was less sure of was whether Molly shared his feelings, and even if he did, whether acting on them was feasible or wise. They were frequently put in dangerous situations, in which these types of attachments could be lethal. When you were facing down an enemy, romance was a distraction, one that could cost you your life.

_That’s Trent talking._

It was, he knew. The liability of love had been drilled into him during his training to become a Scourger. He and Astrid had defied Trent’s advice to avoid attachment, but look what that had cost him. Now, over a decade on, she was on the hunt for his blood in a way that he suspected went beyond his being wanted by the Assembly. Caleb had already seen this danger manifest with Molly. When they were in combat, his attention was drawn to Molly, watching his back even from across the field. He’d chalked it up to Molly being eye-catching, with his coat and flamboyant fighting style, but somewhere in there, he’d known the truth.

Could he leave Molly behind, if he had to? To save the rest of the group? The thought twisted his stomach, an icy dagger piercing his insides, and he knew that if he doubted whether he could, encouraging these feelings was a bad idea. He couldn’t become a liability to these people. They were his family. They couldn’t suffer because he let himself get attached. They were playing high stakes dragonchess now, where tiny missteps easily cost lives, and not only their own. His judgment couldn’t be clouded more than it already was, and allowing himself to be with Molly - _if he even wants you like that_ \- would be disastrous.

No, he couldn’t be with Mollymauk. That was that.

Soon after he reached this conclusion, Molly, clad in his traveling clothes, traipsed down the stairs. He smiled broadly when he saw Caleb sitting at the kitchen table.

“Ah, hallo, Mollymauk. There is coffee on the stove, if you like.” He kept his tone even, kind but distanced. Better to rip the bandage off now.

“Thanks, darling, you’re a lifesaver.” Molly poured himself a steaming cup and plopped down onto the chair perpendicular to Caleb. Caleb kept his gaze out the window, not wanting his resolve to waver by looking at Molly’s face. Molly sighed and cleared his throat.

“I suppose we should talk.” It wasn’t a question. Caleb nodded, glancing only briefly at Molly. His face was heartbreaking, open and worried and nervous.

“Well, I mean, I guess I want to thank you again, for agreeing to help me with this. It means a lot to me that you were willing.”

“Always glad to help a friend if I can.” He tried not to notice the hurt on Molly’s face. His heart felt like someone had reached into his chest and started squeezing it as hard as they could.

“Right. I appreciate that.” Molly was quiet for a long moment, sipping his coffee. “How…are you feeling about everything? I - I know we said things might get kind of…blurry. Lines and all.”

“I do not feel they did,” Caleb lied, keeping his face unreadable.

“Oh. Alright then.” If this were an honest conversation, he’d have asked Molly if he felt they had. It wasn’t, so he didn’t. “You don’t think it’s…going to change things?”

“I do not think it should.” Gods, this was fucking killing him. He could hardly get his next words out around the emotion in his throat. “Just a favor to a friend, ja?” Caleb felt like he was outside his body, watching it burn one of the few good things in his life to ash, and he wanted to scream at himself. He wanted to spill out his feelings, to grab Molly’s face and kiss him silly and pull out every shard of glass he’d just slid under Molly’s skin.

Molly stood suddenly, turning back towards the stove, his tail lashing angrily behind him.

“Guess we should get on the road, hmm?” his tone was clipped, but Caleb heard the unevenness under it and what Molly didn’t say: _Fuck you, Caleb Widogast._

“Ja.” He only dared to glance up once Molly’s back was turned, and his heart sank when he saw Molly wipe his thumb at the corner of his eye as he stormed out of the room.

They packed separately, in dead silence, and Caleb saddled up Jannik, distracted. His mood was darkening by the second, knowing he’d hurt Mollymauk and that the tiefling probably hated him now. _Suppose that’ll make it easier._

Molly mounted Jannik behind Caleb and kept as much of a distance between their bodies as the saddle would allow. He maintained his balance by squeezing the moorbounder with his thighs and kept his hands on his lap. _He doesn’t even want to touch you._ And Caleb couldn’t blame him.

“Are you…comfortable?” he asked lamely, after a quarter hour of tense silence had passed. He sounded dishonest even to himself.

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t try again. The hour of the ride back to the Xhorhaus was torture. Every minute felt like a minute lost to fix it, and the war between the desire to take back what he’d said to Molly, and the desire to stay strong in what he knew was the sensible decision, was tearing his heart in two.

“Hey, you’re back!”

Before Caleb knew it, they were back home, and Nott was throwing the kitchen window open, waving wildly. He mustered a smile and waved back at her.

“I’m making bacon!” she called.

As soon as Caleb stopped Jannik to lead him into the stable, Molly hopped off, swung his pack over his shoulder and stalked off to the house, without a word or glance back at Caleb.

He sighed, taking his time getting Jannik settled.

“ _Did I fuck up_?” he asked the moorbounder miserably, scratching Jannik’s head. Jannik snuffled and nosed at him. Caleb pulled a peppermint out of his pocket and gave it to him. “ _Should I not have done that? Would you have done anything different in my place? ...Scheisse."_

He eventually made it back to the house and tried to slip in without the Nein accosting him. That was unsuccessful.

“Uncle Caleb!” Luc called. “You’re back!” He managed a weary smile and went to the kitchen, where Luc was sitting on the counter as Nott and Caduceus cooked.

“ _Ja, Kleiner_ , I am back. I hope you were good while I was gone?” Nott shot Luc a raised eyebrow expression. “Ah, I know that look. Mama looks like she does not think so.” Luc giggled.

“How d’you know? Does she give you that look too?” Caleb scooped Luc up off the counter as Caduceus slid a hot platter of breakfast across it.

“I know because _my_ mother used to give me that look when I was a boy. It usually means you have done something sort of naughty, but not so naughty that you are punished. So what mischief did you get up to while I was away?” Luc wiggled down out of his arms and took Caleb by the hand, leading him to the library and chattering about trying to put on a play with Jester, and “accidentally” cutting up one of Nott’s dresses to make a costume. The little boy was a good distraction, his stories and constant questions requiring the majority of Caleb’s attention and leaving no room for his misery over how sideways things had gone with Molly.

Caleb greeted the other members of the Nein throughout the day as they came to see him, and made up a vague lie about their trip, but he tried to stay in the library or his bedroom as much as possible. When it was time for the group to gather for dinner, nausea overtook him at the thought of having to sit at the table with Mollymauk like nothing was wrong.

By the time he forced himself to emerge from the library and act normal, the rest of the group was in the dining room already - except Molly. Thankfully, nobody called attention to him, or his brooding mood, and it wasn’t long before Caduceus came out of the kitchen with a cauldron of steaming curry and rice, dotted with chunks of meaty fish and tomato.

“Are you alright, Caleb?” Yasha asked softly, sitting across from him.

“Ja, I am fine. Just tired, I suppose,” he mumbled. Yasha nodded, thankfully not pressing. Not a moment later, Molly descended the stairs, quick and purposeful. He didn’t spare a look at the table as he went to the entryway for his coat.

“Where are you off to, Molly?” Beau asked, frowning. "You just got home." Molly looked back, like he’d just noticed the Nein was there, and smiled graciously. Caleb felt bitterness rise in his throat. Either Molly was an excellent actor, or he was giving up on Caleb and tossing it in his face. _Isn’t that what you want? For him to move on?_

“Nowhere, dear. Just out.” _To the tavern, or the brothel?_

“Are you sure you don’t want dinner first?” Nott asked, gesturing to the spread on the table.

“No thanks, Nott. I’ve got some steam to blow off. I’ll be back.” _He won’t._

The door slammed behind him loud enough to make everyone jump. Caleb kept his face turned down, the stormy mood he’d kept barely suppressed all day breaking through and filling his chest like black seawater.

“Damn, he’s pissy,” Beau grumbled. The conversation didn’t lull long, but when Caleb dared look up again, Yasha’s intense gaze was leveled on him, unwavering. Clearly, she suspected he’d done something to upset Molly and he supposed she wasn’t wrong.

“I’m turning in early tonight,” he announced, standing up from the table. “I’m tired.” He was too stuck in his own head to even bid his friends good night. The conspiratorial whispers that started when they thought he couldn’t hear him didn’t help his mood.

Caleb flopped back onto his bed, not bothering to undress or even pull back the covers. He squeezed his eyes shut, weary with the effort of holding back how awful he felt. He had wanted to be alone but now that he was, he just felt worse.

It didn’t help that he knew Molly probably _wasn’t_ alone. Nauseating images invaded his mind, Molly at the bar, flirting with the barkeep, Molly spread out in someone else’s bed, Molly getting the memory of Caleb fucked out of him by some pretty stranger-

Caleb buried his face in his pillow and pretended not to feel the hot, angry tears blooming into stains as they fell from his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, y'all. I promise I'll make it up to you.
> 
> EDIT: And in case I haven't hurt you enough, I've been listening to Mad Child's Lament by Matt Pless all day because it's a big Widomauk angst mood that works from either of their POVs. Sorry in advance if you choose to throw yourself on that sword.


	6. I can't have you, but I have dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a brief moment of internalized transphobia - blink and you'll miss it. (See end note).

The next ten days were absolute hell. The rest of the Nein clearly caught on that something was going on between Molly and Caleb, as the two did their best to avoid one another, and were rarely in the same room. Molly went out every night and came home in the wee hours of the morning, if he came home at all. Caleb begged off group meals with the excuse that he was in the middle of a difficult project, then waited until everyone else was done to slip into the kitchen and stand over the counter, scarfing down leftovers.

Caduceus saw him do this, as Caduceus was always in the kitchen after meals, but thankfully, never said anything, to him or to the other members of the group. He took to leaving a plate aside for Caleb, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the strange behavior. It wasn’t unusual for for Caleb to get into these states, reclusive, hardly eating, up at strange hours, but Molly’s obviously self-destructive conduct raised concerns among the Nein. When he passed through the house, he occasionally heard snatches of conversation between two or more of his friends:

“…I don’t think so, they seem to be upset with each other….”

“…worried about Molly, he’s not home…”

“…I know, but Caleb wouldn’t…”

Caleb let them speculate as they liked. He assumed that they were trying to talk to Molly, to find out what had taken place, but he found himself too weary to worry about it. Molly could say what he liked about him. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Caleb’s mood wasn’t helped by his sleeplessness either. Going to bed without Molly, waking up without Molly, just depressed him. He lay awake, worried about Molly’s whereabouts, his safety. When he did sleep, it was only after Molly was safely ensconced back in his bedroom, and if Molly didn’t come home, Caleb just didn’t sleep.

On the rare occasions he and Molly crossed paths in the Xhorhaus, he felt like his heart was coming apart all over again, a sweater with a loose thread. It was already tattered, and Molly had the end of the frayed string tied around his wrist. He unraveled it bit by bit with each step he took away from Caleb.

The worst moments were when he saw Molly happy, laughing with the others and getting on like all was well. If Caleb entered the room, Molly glanced at him, and his eyes were cold and hard, as if he were a stranger. Molly might as well have said it: _you mean nothing to me._ Saying it might have hurt less than Molly’s total non-acknowledgement.

Even work was painful. When he got home, he had immediately put Molly’s gifts in the bottom drawer of his desk. He couldn’t use them, not yet, maybe not ever. But every time he picked up one of his beat up, dingy old quills, he thought of the look on Molly’s face when he’d handed Caleb the package with the beautiful new ones.

Where Molly went when he went “out” was a mystery to Caleb, and for that he was thankful. On his more miserable nights, he considered sending Frumpkin after Molly, “just to see that he’s okay”, but he talked himself out of it every time as a violation of Molly’s privacy, which it most certainly was. He resisted the urge to use Frumpkin to see what Molly was doing, or _how_ Molly was doing, not only out of wanting to respect Molly, or humiliation at the prospect of getting caught, but fear of what he might see.

If Caleb were being honest, he was driving himself crazy wondering about it, listening for the close of the front door in the small hours, praying he would only hear one set of footsteps. He bounced back and forth between misery and anger, anger with himself for hurting Molly and with Molly for getting over it and throwing it in his face. It was irrational, and mean-spirited, he knew, to want Molly to be as sad as he was, and it certainly wasn’t alright to be jealous of whatever hypothetical, possibly entirely imaginary person Molly was getting over it with. But he couldn’t help it, and he drifted, days bleeding into nights, nausea constantly churning in his stomach, his heart aching and his eyes dry and stinging from shedding too many tears of anger and regret.

It was a week since they’d returned home when Yasha came to talk to him.

For her size, Yasha moved through a room quietly, like she controlled every muscle and tendon and used only what she needed. Caleb was in the library, as usual, staring at the fire in the hearth, book open but abandoned on his lap, when he heard her come in. Yasha didn’t say anything, just put two glasses on the table and poured a healthy serving of whiskey in each. She took one and settled into the other end of the couch.

Neither spoke for a long moment, but Caleb’s anxiety grew until he felt the need to say something, so he lifted the glass towards Yasha and said,

“Thank you.”

“I want to talk to you.” It occurred to Caleb that he probably should have expected this. If Molly had told anyone the truth, it would be Yasha, and if that was the case, whatever was coming next, he should just be grateful she wasn’t smashing his head into the fireplace brick.

“Ja, alright.” He shifted to face her.

“What happened between you and Mollymauk?” Caleb paused for a long moment. He had no desire to lie to Yasha, but he had equally no desire to get into this mess with her (or anyone), and he didn’t want to violate Molly’s request for discretion by telling her all of it.

“What has he told you?” he muttered, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Nothing. That’s why I’m here. It is clear as day to everyone in this house that something isn’t right between you two, but I don’t think anyone else realizes how bad it is. I haven’t seen Molly like this _ever_ , and I have been with him practically since he woke up. I’m - I’m sorry, I know I am coming on like I’m here to tell you off, but I really am not. I am worried, and I want to help, if talking would help.”

Yasha was hard to read, but in a fundamentally different way from Caleb. Caleb covered over a constant storm of thoughts, doubts, worries and fear with an implacable mask. Yasha worked with singular, quiet intention, her face revealing only what was on her mind in that moment. In her face now, Caleb saw only sincerity. He knew that Yasha would wait while he gathered his words, and so he felt no pressure to respond right away. He liked that about Yasha.

“I do not want to say everything,” Caleb started, looking down at his hands. “I promised to protect Mollymauk’s privacy, and I intend to honor his confidence. I hope that I can count on you to honor that as well, in terms of this conversation.” Yasha nodded.

“While we were away, there were…boundaries crossed…between Molly and I.” He tried to hide his flush but was sure it was obvious to Yasha. He was glad that there was no judgment or criticism on her face, but he also noted that she didn’t seem surprised.

“We said that we would discuss it, before we returned home, and when we did…I said that it should not change anything between us. I know that hurt Molly, I - I wish it had not. And now he is angry, and he is right to be.”

“Were you telling the truth when you said that?” Yasha asked quietly. Caleb deliberated for a long moment before answering. Whether it was the whiskey, or the rawness of his emotions after so many days of sleeplessness and suffering, he felt that he could place this burden in Yasha’s hands and ask her to help him with it. She was sensitive, intuitive, and might be able to help him untangle this knot that was straining between his brain and his heart.

“No,” he said, so softly he could hardly hear it. Yasha didn’t say anything, merely looked at him with her soft green and violet eyes. She waited for him to speak.

“I love him.” Saying the words out loud startled him, but in for a copper, in for a gold. He was choosing to be honest with Yasha and she couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell her the truth. Yasha merely nodded.

“But you didn’t tell him so.”

“No.” The two sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the flames crackle and sipping the warming liquor. “I know that…these attachments can be dangerous. I do not think that I would be able to protect the group to the best of my ability with…distractions.” Yasha was quiet.

“What is the real reason?” Caleb stared at her in confusion.

“That is the real reason!”

“No, it is not. You’re attached to all of us. You are more attached to Nott than anyone except Yeza and Luc. You already have attachments. What do you _really_ mean when you say it’s dangerous?”

Yasha’s words dropped into the whirlpool of his mind like a stopper in a sink drain. The association he drew that morning, between Molly and Astrid, was clear to him all of a sudden. It wasn’t about sticking to a piece of advice given to him by a man whose guidance he now rejected; it wasn’t about protecting anyone else. It was about protecting Molly.

“There are people after me, Yasha. Dangerous, cruel people who would gladly cut me to pieces and sleep soundly at night knowing they had saved the Empire from another turncoat. A Scourger who has earned the title has given up every last shred of their conscience. I killed my own parents and so did my best friend, and so did my girlfriend, and I was the only one who broke. Just me. They made it. They’re out there, and they want to make me suffer. If - if they ever found me-“ Caleb’s voice cracked, his throat burning with barely suppressed emotion, “- they would slit his throat just to watch me break all over again.” No matter how hard he willed them not to, hot tears spilled over his cheeks.

Yasha, gracefully, was silent, and let him compose himself before she responded.

“Someone did that to me.” That was all she said. Caleb nodded slowly.

“So you understand why I cannot be with Mollymauk. If he ever even wanted me, and…I imagine he especially does not now. I mean…what would you have done?” _If you could go back._ Caleb knew the enormity of what he was asking Yasha, and part of him chastised himself for doing it. It wasn’t fair, but…. Yasha was quiet for several minutes. Caleb gave her the space to collect her thoughts that she had given him, gazing into the fire and sipping his whiskey.

“I still would have married her.”

Caleb stared at her for a long moment.

“Even knowing what…what could happen? Would happen?” Yasha looked out the window, off into the moonlit Rosohna sky.

“When I first fell in love with her…I did what I think you are doing now. I tried to push her away and tell myself it wasn’t possible. I’m sure I hurt her feelings, made her think I didn’t want her. I resigned myself to marrying who was chosen for me and simply loving her without having her. But ultimately, I could not do it. And neither could she. We knew then what could happen. We decided to face it together instead of apart.” Yasha looked back at him, her eyes shining in the firelight.

“I have many regrets, Caleb, but marrying Zuala has never been one of them.” The two friends sat in silence for a long time, long enough to pour another drink. When she’d drained her glass, Yasha stood, walked behind the couch to where Caleb was sitting and squeezed his shoulder. She exited without another word.

~~~

Caleb’s conversation with Yasha only confused him more. What was he supposed to do now? Try to patch things up with Molly? How the hell was that conversation supposed to go? Molly wouldn’t even want him anymore, if he ever really had. Caleb had lied to him and pushed him away. Had it been too long? Should he commit to his current course of action and keep Molly safe? As was always the case, inaction was easier than anything.

Three nights after Yasha came to see him, the decision on whether or not to talk to Molly was taken out of his hands.

_Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang_

The knocking on the bedroom door was hard enough to shake the doorframe. Caleb jolted up and just stared at it.

_Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang_

His brain caught up with him and he pulled on his robe over his pajama pants, opening the door to see a flash of purple before Molly pushed past him and stormed into the room. Molly wasn’t shitfaced, but he was certainly drunk, and his clothes were wrinkled and out of order.

“Mollymauk? Are you alright?” Caleb asked, stunned, closing the door behind him. “It is the middle of the night.”

“You’re up, aren’t you?”

“Well…yes, but - Molly, what happened?” Molly stared at him incredulously. He barked out a laugh and put the empty wine bottle he’d been carrying on Caleb’s nightstand.

“What’s happened? You have a lot of fucking nerve asking me that.” Caleb’s heart sank. This was the conversation he’d been imagining for days, the one where Molly told him that he was a bastard and a piece of shit and that he hated him. Caleb sighed and sat on the bed, face in his hands, while Molly paced.

“I’m just drunk enough to say all this and say it coherently, so you’d better listen to me. What the _fuck_ , Caleb? How - how fucking _dare_ you?”

“Molly, I -“

“Don’t talk. You didn’t want to talk for the last ten days, you’re gonna let me talk now. You spent three days giving me the best sex of my life, and, and _caring_ for me, and kissing me good morning and good night, and you can’t fucking tell me that lines weren’t crossed because they were and you know it! And then, when it’s time to go home, you turn around and toss me on my ass like garbage in the street? “Just a favor to a friend”? Like it meant nothing to you? That wasn’t just fucking, Caleb, and you can’t possibly lie to my face and tell me it was. So what is it, then?” Molly stopped in front of him and Caleb could see furious tears shining in Molly’s eyes.

“Is it because I’m a monster to you?” Molly demanded, his voice rising, “Because you should’ve settled down with the fucking pretty redheaded human from next door and you can’t see yourself with someone like me? Is it -“ Molly choked back tears and wiped his face angrily. “-Is it because I haven’t got the - the usual parts, is that it? I’m too _weird_ for you with my tail and my horns and my cunt and -“

“Molly!” Caleb exclaimed, standing and putting his hands up. “Molly, stop!” Molly was just on the edge of breaking down.

“You at least owe me that! At least tell me why!” he yelled.

“Godsdammit, Molly!” Caleb was pacing now too, agitated. “It has nothing to do with any of that!”

“What is it, then? Because, because it wasn’t just all in my head, it couldn’t have been-“

“Because I do not want to get you killed!” Caleb shouted. “For gods’ sake, Molly, do not make this harder than it has to be!” He was choking up now too, against his will, his throat closing with prickly tears.

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about? Don’t bullshit me, Caleb Widogast, I am the king of bullshit and I know when I’m being lied to, just like I knew you were lying to me last week-“

“Mollymauk, sit _down_ ,” Caleb snapped, and Molly stopped and stared at him.

“I’m fine standing,” he snarled, his arms crossed. “Go on, then.” Caleb sat back down on the bed, running his hands through his hair.

“There are people after me, Molly, you know that. People who would gut you like a fish in front of me just to watch me scream, if they knew - if - if we were together.” Molly was finally quiet, for just a moment.

“So what?”

“So what? The Cerberus Assembly. The Scourgers. Trent. There is a price on my head and they will use whatever they have to to get to me. I know because I was trained to be one of them. They would come for you because they know that I would go after you and, and I would follow them to the ends of Exandria to get you back, and Molly, I have lost everything. I have lost everyone I loved. I have nothing left for them to take, and you.... Do you think I wanted to say those things to you? Do you think I wanted to lie through my teeth and tell you that I thought we are better off as friends? Do you think I do not wish you were lying in here with me at night? I am lying awake every evening miserable, and clearly, you have gotten over the whole thing, so I do not even know why you are here.”

“Gotten _over_ it?” Molly repeated, astonished. “Gotten _over it_?”

“You have gone out to gods know where every night since we got back.” Caleb was fully aware how jealous and childish he sounded, but he couldn’t stop himself. He started pacing again. “Out all night, not coming home - you blame me for not talking to you, but what am I supposed to think? Where have you been, the tavern, looking for your next fling? The brothel?”

“You want to know where I’ve been?” Molly snapped. “Most nights? Passing out at the bar. Or when I’ve tried to go home with someone, so blind ass fucking drunk I can hardly see straight, I’ve ended up crying before I can even get my pants off and wandering the streets til morning.” Caleb’s chest ached at the image of Molly walking around in last night’s clothes, hungover, while the city awoke around him. “I’m not fucking _over it_. For fuck’s sake, Caleb! I fucking - I can’t _do_ this! I can’t just pretend everything is fine! I - I don’t see how you can!”

“I can because I have to,” Caleb replied, practically begging Molly to understand. He felt the way he did that morning at the cottage, like his heart was tearing in two. “How can I possibly put you in a position where your life is in danger?”

“You. Don’t get. To decide. For me,” Molly growled. “If I want to risk my life because I want to be with you, then you can’t tell me I can’t! It’s _my life_ , I get to decide what I want to do with it!”

_I have many regrets, Caleb, but marrying Zuala has never been one of them._

Caleb was silent for a long few moments, returning to the bed and putting his face back in his hands.

“Mollymauk,” he sighed, looking up at the tiefling’s tear-stained face. He was tired. He was so fucking tired. How long could a person fight their own heart? His aching chest couldn’t fight anymore, and he felt the tears start to flow freely. For a moment, all was still, and then before he knew it he was up and Molly was in his arms, emitting choked sobs.

“Mollymauk,” Caleb repeated, gathering Molly against his chest. “I am so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Molly asked, his voice watery. “I don’t want to hear you’re sorry if you’re just going to tell me it has to be this way.”

_We knew then what could happen._

_We decided to face it together instead of apart._

“I am sorry for trying to make this decision for you,” Caleb answered, taking Molly’s face in his hands. “I am sorry. You are right. I cannot tell you which things are worth risking your life for. Though I will tell you that as the expert on Caleb Widogast, I cannot advise him as one of those things.” Molly sniffled, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth. Even just that little smile felt like warm, golden sunshine on Caleb’s face.

“Shut up,” Molly muttered.

“But,” Caleb continued. “I thought at the time that it was what I should do, even though it killed me to do it, and that it would be better, if not for me, then for you. But gods, Mollymauk Tealeaf, I am a reckless, selfish man and I am hopelessly in love with you, and-“

Caleb’s sentence was cut off by the smash of Molly’s lips on his, the warmth and soft and sweet so familiar to him, quenching the longing he’d harbored for days. He kissed Molly back desperately, hungry for more, and Molly’s hands went to his chest and started pushing him back to the bed. Caleb’s heart dropped when he processed the taste of alcohol on Molly’s lips and he pulled away suddenly.

“Molly, wait-“

“Don’t you fucking dare take it back,” Molly growled, his eyes deadly. Caleb put his hands up.

“No, no, never, I just - you are drunk, Mollymauk. We should not.” Molly’s eyes went dark for a moment, black as pitch, sending a chill down Caleb’s spine. A small sphere of liquid began to gather in Molly’s hand and his eyes snapped back as he dashed it to the floor.

“There. Stone cold sober. I’ll clean it up later.” He pushed Caleb flat down onto the bed and straddled his lap. Caleb blinked, struggling to process.

“So - you still - you got all of that, right?” Molly stared at him.  
  
“The part where you said I was right, you were wrong, and you’re desperately in love with me? Yes. I got all of that.” He took Caleb’s mouth again in another wanting, passionate kiss, eliciting a moan from Caleb as he wrapped his arms around Molly. Molly came up for air and looked into Caleb’s eyes.

“…Are you my boyfriend now?”

“If you will have me,” Caleb replied with a giddy smile, his eyes closing as Molly started laying kisses all over his face and neck.

“This was the worst ten days of my life,” Molly grumbled, sucking a mark under Caleb’s jaw. “You don’t have to say it was yours, I know it wasn’t.” Caleb couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You are right, but it was up there, _Schatz_.”

Caleb relaxed for the first time since coming home, each touch of Molly’s hands and press of his lips pulling tension from his body. He ran his hands over Molly’s back, sliding under Molly’s shirt, drinking in the feel of Molly’s skin on his, a loss he’d felt acutely for the last ten days, and now he felt like he had to make up for lost time.

Molly propped himself up, just gazing at Caleb with an adorable half-smile on his face, brushing Caleb’s hair out of his eyes.

“I love you too, by the way.” Caleb sighed with happiness and turned his head to kiss Molly’s palm.

“Molly?”

“Yes, dear?”

“About before, when you said that…you thought that I think you are strange-“ Molly averted his gaze, face full of shame.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“No, I do. I need you to hear me. I fell in love with who you are, Mollymauk. You could look like absolutely anything, and I could not care less what is between your legs. I love every bit of you because it is all part of you. I would love you just as much if you were a human or a firbolg or a particularly charming gelatinous cube, though I think that might make sex a bit difficult.” Molly laughed and the sound made Caleb smile. He loved making Molly laugh.

“And whether your, ah, equipment, looked like mine or like yours or something in between, it does not matter. I love your body because I enjoy learning how to give you pleasure with it. So please, never think that I want you to be anything different from what you are, because then you would not be _you_ , and I love _you_ , just like this.”

Molly kissed Caleb again, soft and sweet and full of so much tenderness his chest could burst.

“Thank you. I know all of that, darling. I was just hurt and, well, it’s easy to pick apart every little thing about yourself that might make someone reject you. I’ve had not a few people who only wanted to bed me for the novelty. I suppose I encourage it, being such a peacock.” Caleb kissed Molly’s forehead.

“I am sorry that anything I did made that thought enter your mind. I love Mollymauk the person _and_ the peacock.”

He wrapped his arms around Molly’s shoulders and pulled him in for another kiss. They made out like teenagers, all wandering hands and sighs and exploring tongues, and the embers of desire that had lain dormant in Caleb since they left the cottage flared up again. He gently guided Molly onto his back, switching their positions, and began unbuttoning Molly’s shirt.

“What do you want tonight, _Kätzchen_?” he murmured, kissing over Molly’s collarbone and shoulders. “We do not need to have sex, if you just want me to get you off, or you just want to do this and no more, whatever you want.” Caleb was trying to be sensitive to what Molly needed from him; he knew that he’d hurt Molly and assumed that it would take time to earn that trust again.

Molly propped up onto his elbows and stared at Caleb.

“I want to climb you like a tree.” Caleb blushed bright red.

“Oh. Well then. Ja, you can do that.” Before Caleb knew it, Molly had flipped him over onto his back and was pushing his robe off, pulling his own shirt off over his head rather than finish unbuttoning it. Caleb shrugged out of the robe, shifted up to lean against the headboard and pulled Molly to him in a nakedly sexual, desperate kiss. The slide of hot skin on skin was intoxicating, the feeling of their chests pressed together, and Caleb was already aching in his pants with Molly straddling him.

“I missed you,” Molly breathed, rolling his hips against Caleb’s.

“Oh, _Schatz_ , I missed you too.” Caleb brought his hands up to Molly’s chest, circling Molly’s piercings with his thumbs. Molly groaned, a sound that went right to Caleb’s cock and encouraged him to roll Molly’s nipples between his fingers, kissing and biting softly at Molly’s neck.

“Bite me harder,” Molly moaned, stretching his neck to give Caleb better access. He found a good spot where Molly’s neck met his shoulder, and sank his teeth into the muscle as he pulled lightly on Molly’s nipples.

“Fuck yes, baby, just like that,” he gasped, shuddering in Caleb’s lap. Caleb grinned and sucked at the spot until he was certain it would leave a gorgeous eggplant-purple mark.

“Mine,” Caleb whispered in Molly’s ear, relishing in the soft whine it pulled from Molly’s lips.

“You ought to have one to match, then, don’t you think?” Molly teased. Caleb’s cock jerked with interest.

“Ja, if you want to,” he mumbled shyly.

“Would you like that, love?” He nodded. Molly hummed and kissed at his neck and shoulders, looking for the right place. “I’ll go light on you, darling, I know you don’t like pain as much as I do.”

Caleb didn’t correct Molly. A conversation for another time. Molly found a soft spot on Caleb’s chest and took the flesh between his teeth, biting lightly and sucking, eliciting a gasping moan from Caleb that he didn’t have the presence of mind to care was loud. His muscles tensed and relaxed as Molly marked him, warmth and affection coursing through his body.

“Mine,” Molly purred, and captured Caleb’s mouth again with a grin, his tongue sliding over Caleb’s lips. Caleb tangled a hand in Molly’s hair and pulled him closer, his other hand stroking Molly’s back, and for a long while, the air was still except for the soft sounds of their lips, small sighs and whines and moans.

Molly leaned back and stretched out, the expanse of his torso so delicious and inviting, and Caleb leaned forward to take one of Molly’s nipples in his mouth. He played with Molly’s barbells, delighting in the groans and the grind of Molly’s hips that Molly rewarded him with.

“I could watch you like this all day,” he murmured, glancing up through lowered lashes to move to Molly’s other nipple. As he ran his tongue over warm lavender skin, he felt a small ridge that he hadn’t noticed before, and on the other side, a matching one. Affection bloomed in his heart when he realized that unlike the other slashes of silvery scar tissue that crossed Molly’s chest and back, marks that pained him to look at, that Molly had gotten slicing his skin open to defend himself, these were scars of love, a testament to Mollymauk’s love for himself. Caleb pressed a soft, chaste kiss to each barely visible scar, not wanting to linger.

“Could I taste you, _Liebchen_?” Caleb asked, running his hands over Molly’s back and cupping his ass. “Would you like that?”

“Gods, _yes_ ,” Molly breathed. “ _Please_ , that tongue of yours will be the death of me…” Caleb blushed at the compliment and shifted down the bed to lay his head flat as Molly finished undressing. Molly looked confused for a moment, but Caleb gestured for him to kneel over his shoulders and a wide grin spread over Molly’s face.

“You really do love going down, don’t you?”

“I will not deny the accusation.” Molly kneeled over Caleb’s head, bracing himself on the headboard. “If you start smothering me, I will tap your leg, alright?” Molly laughed.

“I’ll try not to. Darling?”

“Yes?” Molly’s tail came around and carded through Caleb’s hair.

“I feel really fucking lucky.” Caleb took one hand from where it rested on Molly’s thigh and took the end of his tail in hand to press a kiss to it.

“I am the lucky one.” Noticing how Molly’s breath hitched when he kissed the spade of his tail, Caleb made eye contact with Molly and continued kissing it, running his tongue over it, and sucking on the tip playfully. Molly moaned and the scent of his arousal, so close, was driving Caleb crazy. The tail was something very much worth exploring later. For now, he released Molly’s tail and put his hands back on Molly’s hips, lowering him gently until he could slide his tongue over the length of Molly’s wet heat. Molly _keened_ and ground down, glancing down at Caleb to check that he wasn’t being smothered, but Caleb just let his eyes flutter shut and lost himself in the sweet softness and heat of Molly. He was surprised to find that Molly’s taste was different now that he wasn’t in heat; he still reminded Caleb of juicy summer blueberries, but there was a savoriness to him now too, and Caleb enjoyed it every bit as much.

He let Molly ride his tongue, his cock leaking with the little gasps and loud groans of pleasure Molly was emitting, but he also played with Molly, sucking hard on his cock and then pulling away, switching between short, intense strokes and longer, softer ones. Caleb could tell when Molly was ascending to his climax, and he wanted to stretch it out as long as possible, bring Molly close to the peak and then let him roll back down again.

Looking up at Molly, flushed and gorgeous, crying out and gripping the headboard with trembling hands as Caleb sent him over the edge, Caleb thought maybe he understood, for once, what other people felt offering praises at the feet of the divine.

Molly dismounted and slid back down the bed, limbs still shaking a little, to lie next to Caleb. He kissed Caleb hard, who was still catching his breath.

“Fucking hells you’re good at that.” Caleb couldn’t help but feel a little smug and Molly clearly saw it on his face.

“Oh, heavens, I’m making you full of yourself. You won’t think it’s so great when I’m trying to seduce you for it day and night,” Molly teased. Caleb grinned back at him.

“I could spend all day with my head between your legs, Mollymauk, and still ask for more.”

“That sounds an awful lot like a challenge, Mister Caleb.” Molly straddled him again, leaning down for another kiss, and the hiss of breath he let out made it clear how ready he was.

“Do you still want to have sex?” Caleb managed.

“Yes, darling,” Molly murmured, laying small kisses over freckled skin. He seemed to think for a moment, his tail pattering on the bed beside him. “I think I’d like to be on top, but…I want to be close to you.”

Caleb shifted into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. Molly’s chest was pressed against his and his legs were folded around Caleb’s waist.

“Does this work?” he asked softly, brushing a stray curl out of Molly’s eyes. Molly smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Yeah, this works great.” Molly rolled to the side and started to kiss over Caleb’s chest and stomach. He nipped at Caleb’s lower belly and ran his tongue just under the waistband of his pants.

“Got to get these off first, though,” Molly teased, a wicked glint in his eyes. He yanked Caleb’s pants down off his hips, letting his flushed, dripping cock free. Finally, when they were both undressed, Molly swiped two fingers between his thighs to make them slick and coated Caleb’s cock, stroking it infuriatingly slowly.

“Ohhhh, gods, Molly…” Caleb bit down on two fingers to keep himself from being too loud but Molly tsk’d at him.

“Let me hear you, darling,” he said, kissing down the trail of copper hair on Caleb’s stomach to the base of his cock. “I love all those pretty noises you make for me….” Caleb removed his hand, about to say something about not being alone in the house, but Molly suddenly ran his tongue over the underside of his cock and all coherent thought was lost. His poor body spent three days building up endurance for multiple orgasms a day, and then had nothing for ten days. He felt like he was on a hair trigger already. Molly took him in his mouth and sucked hard, but Caleb put a hand on Molly’s horn and pulled him up.

“ _Kätzchen,_ you are too good at that and I will not last for you if you keep it up.” Molly grinned and climbed back up to the head of the bed, pushing Caleb back up into a sitting position so he could sit in his lap.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, baby,” he purred, holding the headboard with one hand and using the other to guide Caleb’s dick to his entrance. When Molly sank down on him, he let out a strangled gasp and clutched Molly close, the wet and heat and tight and so, so good of it all bearing down on him at once. Caleb felt like if he moved too much, he’d lose it, but fortunately Molly was more than glad to take the reins. He started slow but within half a minute was riding Caleb hard, moaning happily, the headboard thumping against the wall, and Caleb couldn’t care less if Molly woke up the whole house so long as he got to see that look of absolute bliss on Molly’s flushed face.

“That’s it, _Schatz_ , just like that, you are so gorgeous,” Caleb panted, grasping Molly’s ass and pressing kisses to his upper chest. “You feel so good, Molly, fuck, you are amazing….”

“Oh, _baby_ ,” Molly groaned, circling his hips on Caleb’s lap. “You know how I like it, oh gods, oh gods, I love it, you make me feel so _full_ ….”

Caleb knew he wouldn’t last long, not with Molly, _his_ Molly, bouncing on his cock like this, his whines and cries filling the air of Caleb’s bedroom, and he reached between them to massage Molly’s cock. Caleb was rewarded with a delightful gasp and shudder from Molly, and he drove Molly to his orgasm relentlessly, trying to get him there before the dam broke and he was through.

“Ohhhh, gooooods,” Molly moaned, and Caleb was thrusting up into Molly now, rubbing Molly’s dick, feeling Molly clench around him as he got closer and closer - “Baby, please, please, give me your cock, just like that, oh fuck, oh, oh, oh, Caleb, I’m-“

Molly didn’t finish the phrase, grinding down on Caleb and gushing over him with a high pitched cry as he came. The contractions of Molly’s cunt were all Caleb needed for his last thread of self control to snap, and he bucked up into Molly one, two, three more times before his own orgasm overtook him. He clutched Molly, releasing deep inside him with a groan, biting down on the mark he’d left on Molly’s shoulder.

Caleb and Molly were sweaty, and sticky, and exhausted, but neither wanted to pull apart from the other. Molly buried his face in Caleb’s shoulder and just stayed there, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Caleb pressed kisses to Molly’s bare skin, wherever he could reach, and they stayed like that, quiet and loving, until Caleb felt the distinctly unsexy sensation of his cock softening and Molly dripping on the sheets. Gently, he pulled out and cleaned them with a quick casting, pulling Molly close to his chest as his lids grew heavy.

“I hope you will stay here from now on,” he murmured to Molly, who was already purring happily against him.

“You couldn’t get rid of me now if you tried,” Molly mumbled, clearly halfway to sleep himself. “I’m comfy now, so I’m not going anywhere. And you’re not allowed to ruin my sleeping spot by moving.”

“You are worse than the cat, you know that?”

“Sorry, those are just the rules. I’m your boyfriend now, so I get to make rules.” Caleb laughed and stroked Molly’s hair.

“I do understand. What you were saying before.” Caleb raised his head to look at Molly.

“Hmm?”

“About not wanting me to be in danger. I get it.” Molly laced his fingers through Caleb’s. “Whatever’s out there, I’ve got your back. You know that anyone tries to lay a finger on you and I’ll cut them to ribbons. I know you don’t think I can but you haven’t _really_ seen me when someone tries to harm what’s mine.”

“I fully believe that, _Schatz._ ” He kissed the top of Molly’s head. “Good night, Mollymauk. I love you very much.”

“I love you too, baby.”

~~~

Caleb slept like a stone until the morning, when Molly untangled himself from his embrace, murmuring something about needing a bath. Caleb opened his eyes blearily and immediately fell asleep again. When he awoke for real, not too long after, he stretched out and sighed in contentment. This was real. Molly was his, he was Molly’s. The ache in his chest that had been a constant since they got home hadn’t subsided; it had changed into a gentle thrum of warmth, a feeling of fullness at the immensity of his love for Molly.

Eventually, his grumbling stomach won out over the desire to stay in bed until Molly returned. Still sleepy, Caleb dressed and went to the table, where Beau, Fjord, Yasha and Jester were already halfway through breakfast. They were in the middle of some conversation or another when he arrived; without coffee, it was difficult to focus on deciphering it first thing in the morning. Yasha took the stovetop pot from the end of the table and poured him a steaming mug. He looked up at her and raised his eyebrows in thanks, drinking down a hefty dose of much needed energy.

“Oh good morning, Caleb,” Jester said sweetly, spreading sticky red jam on a slice of Caduceus’s almond bread.

“Ah, good morning, Jester,” he mumbled, keenly aware of his disheveled state. He needed a bath of his own. _Maybe Molly would take another later…_ Molly came galloping down the stairs, toweling his hair dry. Jester grinned.

“How was the make-up sex?”

Caleb choked on his coffee and sputtered, certain he was crimson-faced.

“Jester!” Beau groaned, her hands over her face.

“I - I do not - what are you talking about?”

Jester giggled.

“Oh, please, I’m surprised you didn’t wake up half of Rosohna.”

“Why, _hello_ , Jester,” Molly interrupted, dropping a smooch on Jester’s head as he reached over her for the coffeepot.

“Don’t kiss me with that mouth, Molly, I know where it’s been,” Jester said, playfully stern. “So how was it?”

“ _Götter, Jester_ ,” Caleb moaned, covering his beet red face.

“Spectacular, darling, why do you ask?” Molly replied, smooth as butter, plopping down on the bench next to Caleb. “If you’re looking to have a go I’m afraid he’s spoken for.”

Jester squealed.

“So you’re like together now?! Oh my _gosh_ , you were fighting and now you made up and you’re together because you _love each other,_ it’s just like in that book-“

Jester kept going and Caleb’s flush receded as Molly scooted closer to him, hip touching his. Molly looked at him with so much happiness, he didn’t care any longer if everyone knew they were a couple, or even that everyone had heard them have sex last night (well, that was still a little embarrassing). From across the long dining table Yasha gave him a small smile and he raised his mug to her in thanks.

_We knew then what could happen._

_We decided to face it together instead of apart._

Under the table, Caleb took Molly’s hand and squeezed it. Molly squeezed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Caleb now has two cats)
> 
> Thank you all for your encouragement and support! It's entirely what helped me finish so soon. This literally was supposed to be some PWP maybe 3 chapters at most nonsense and now here we are at 30k+ words. I'm glad to provide you the fluffy and filthy porn we all desperately need in these times. <3
> 
> *Author's Note* 8/27/20
> 
> I've been reflecting on a few elements of this chapter thanks to the feedback of a reader, and I'd like to acknowledge that the choices I made around Molly's insecurities are not the choices I would make now. At the time, it felt important to me to recognize negative emotions around gender, in the context that Molly is picking apart things that he has been othered for and is angry that he feels like Caleb might be othering him too. Reading it now, it feels like I'm utilizing these difficult emotions for the sake of tension, and I regret that I didn't handle it differently. It was also pointed out to me that toward the end of the chapter, when Caleb is reassuring Molly, the way that conversation is written, putting race and gender together in the conversation makes it sound like trans people are alien creatures or a different species. While that was obviously not my intention or the way that segment landed for me as the writer, that's too egregious of a mistake to not acknowledge and apologize for.
> 
> Ultimately, these are the writing choices I made, and I plan to leave them as is. I don't want to pretend that I didn't make these choices and I think it's important to own up to them. Growth is messy and not being perfect is not an excuse not to be better. Finally, I'm grateful for the input from the trans readers who put in the time and effort to engage in conversations about this with me. I write to make others happy as well as myself, and your feedback helps me make my writing more enjoyable for more people. Thanks for reading! ❤️


	7. oh and I have dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a (non-smutty) epilogue that's been developing slowly in my brain for a little while! Enjoy some totally self indulgent and tooth rotting fluff.

_Three years later_

___________________

Molly paced back and forth, his tail whipping around his legs, icy panic welling up in his chest. No. No no no no no, not now, this wasn’t happening, there was a mistake, some mistake, there had to be a mistake.

 _This’ll be one hell of an anniversary surprise,_ Molly thought bitterly. Three years. Today they’ve been together three years. Molly’s knees felt weak and he sank to the ground, sliding dizzily into the nest of roots at the base of Melora’s tree.

Somehow he’d known. Before he even came to Caduceus he’d known. The firbolg lowered himself down next to Molly and reached out a hand. Molly grasped it like it was the only thing keeping him from drowning.

“I have to tell him,” Molly croaked. He looked at Caduceus, whose face was calm and open. He mirrored Molly’s grip, holding his hand firmly.

“Do you want this?”

“I…I don’t know.” Crushing guilt constricted Molly’s heart. What did it mean that he didn’t know? Did he not love Caleb? Shouldn’t he feel elated?

“Molly, all your options are on the table. If you decide you aren’t ready for this, I can help you with that, and I would honor your privacy. You don’t need to tell another soul. If you decide you are, I can assist with your care. I’m here for you.”

“Do you really think it would be…okay…for me to do…that? And not tell Caleb?” Caduceus’s big pink eyes searched Molly’s face.

“I think what is ‘okay’ depends on what you can live with.” Molly tried to imagine the look on Caleb’s face, if he found out, and immediately pushed it away. It was too painful for his mind to even touch. Even if Caleb never knew, knowing he would be doing something that would hurt him, and keep it secret…he couldn’t.

“No, I don’t think I could live with that.” Caduceus nodded. They were silent for a moment. “I…I’m not ready. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t…I don’t even know what a father is supposed to be like.”

“If it eases your mind, I feel quite confident that in this house, you would have no shortage of assistance. You do have some people around you with experience in this area.” He squeezed Molly’s hand.

“What if he doesn’t want it?” Molly’s voice was small and broken, and tears threatened at the corner of his eyes.

“That’s possible.”

Caduceus didn’t say more. Somehow, that made Molly feel better than if he had said that of course that wouldn’t happen, that Caleb would be thrilled, that Molly had nothing to worry about, because Caduceus didn’t know that. Sure, they’d discussed this, but it was always late night pillow talk, things murmured in the loving haze of afterglow. They hadn’t made _plans_ , it was always eventually, someday. “That’s possible” meant, “maybe, and you will still be alright”. That was, strangely, exactly what Molly needed to hear.

_This could be the end of the two of you. Maybe he wasn’t ever this serious about you. Maybe he’ll be angry that your tincture failed. Maybe he’ll push himself into something he isn’t ready for either and he’ll resent you and…it…forever. You’re putting him in a terrible position. You’re going to ruin his life. This is all your fault._

“I need to talk to him,” Molly whispered, miserable.

“I’m here for you, for anything you need.”

“Thanks, Caduceus.” Molly wrapped his arms around the firbolg and sighed shakily. He could do this. He would be okay. If Caleb ran from this, he’d go on. He’d be devastated, but he’d go on. Eventually.

Molly forced himself to march down the stairs and made his way to their bedroom. He felt like he was going to pass out. When he flung the door open and saw Caleb hanging up his coat, he backed away from the precipice of his impending breakdown.

_It’s still Caleb. It’s still him. He isn’t going to become a different person all of a sudden._

The relief, irrational and incomplete as it was, made Molly rush forward and throw his arms around Caleb, crushing himself against the human’s chest.

“Hello, _Liebling_ ,” Caleb said, surprise evident in his voice. He slid his arms around Molly. “I was only gone for a little while, just, ah, I had to do something, for dinner tonight.”

Right. Caleb had made plans for the two of them to have a nice dinner at Molly’s favorite restaurant in Rosohna to celebrate their anniversary. Briefly, Molly wondered if he could wait until after the dinner, if maybe they could have just one more romantic evening together, make love one more time, before everything crumbled, or didn’t, or at least changed forever in one way or the other. Caleb pulled back and looked at Molly’s shattered face and his brow furrowed.

“Mollymauk? What’s wrong?”

“I have to talk to you,” Molly barely managed. Tears were already clouding his vision, his throat getting tight and hot. Pure fear washed over Caleb’s expression and he quickly moved to the door to shut it.

“Sit, _Liebling_ , _bitte_ , what’s happened? What’s…what’s wrong?” Molly knew “we need to talk” was the fastest way to strike fear in the heart of any lover, but he didn’t know how else to start. He took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. Caleb joined him and took his hand. Molly could feel the slight shake in his fingers. He looked Caleb in the eye and opened his mouth a few times, but the words wouldn’t come out, he couldn’t make them.

“Do you love me?” Molly didn’t know why he said that instead. Caleb just stared at him.

“ _Was?_ Mollymauk, of course I do, you know that, don’t you? You are…you are the love of my life, _Schatz._ I…should I tell you that more? Do I not say that enough?” Molly got the ludicrous urge to laugh. Caleb told Molly he loved him every morning, every night and many times throughout the day in between, like Molly might forget if Caleb didn’t remind him every two hours. The only way for Caleb to tell him more would be to wake him up periodically in the night. Molly took a few deep breaths. The words tumbled out, suddenly too heavy to stay in his mouth.

“I’m pregnant.”

Tears immediately sprang into Caleb’s eyes and he clapped his hands over his mouth. Molly couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t hear Caleb say it, he couldn’t -

“You’re sure?” Caleb whispered, not quite yet processing it. Molly nodded and tears started to roll down his own cheeks.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice watery. “I talked to Caduceus and he made me pee on some herbs and lit them and said the smoke would turn blue if…if I was. And I was. Am. I am.”

Caleb grabbed Molly’s face and pulled him in for a bruising kiss, his breaths uneven like he was holding back tears. The instant his mouth touched Molly’s, the fear dissipated. He was going to be alright, no matter what they decided, Caleb was here, Caleb loved him, Caleb would do anything for him.

“Oh, Mollymauk,” Caleb murmured, kissing Molly’s face desperately. “I - I don’t know what to say.”

“Well you could start by telling me if you’re happy or not,” Molly sniffled, wiping tears off his cheeks. Caleb pulled away, taken aback.

“Happy? Of course I am, _Liebling_ , I’m - are you - are you not?” He looked crestfallen and immediately tried to hide it. Molly’s heart cracked under the weight of his love for this man. “I mean, if you are not, of course, that’s - I would understand. I know we did not, um, plan for this.”

“I don’t know what I am,” Molly replied. “I’m…all of it, I guess. Happy, and crazy in love with you, and scared out of my godsdamned mind, and I want it, and I don’t want it, and I’m ready and I’m not ready at all. I mean, isn’t it crazy for people who live like us to think about having a _baby_? What am I gonna do, strap a papoose to my back when we go off fighting dragons?” Molly couldn’t keep the laughter from bubbling out of his throat at the ridiculous image. “And, and I never even had parents! I don’t know how to do this! And…I mean, what if we aren’t up for it? What if I’m not up for it?” Caleb was quiet for a moment.

“Molly, I love you more than I thought I could ever love anything,” he said quietly, holding both Molly’s hands. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking those same things. I’m terrified at the prospect of…being a father. But we have discussed wanting to make a family, in the future, and I still want that. Ultimately, I think that if you feel that this is not the right time, I will support your decision and, and we can try again, later, when we’re more ready. But I do not think anyone is really ready to be a parent before they are one. We have a big family around us to help. And we have each other.”

“It’s a big commitment,” Molly said weakly. “To me, too, you know? Like…we’d be tied to each other forever.” Caleb looked like a kicked puppy.

“Is that…not what you want?”

“No, no, no! I’m sorry, baby, I realize how that came out, I didn’t mean it like that. I, I do, of course I do, I love you so much, but I just…you know, maybe you don’t, or you aren’t sure, and, and that would be okay, if you felt that way…” Caleb stared at Molly for a minute. Wordlessly, he stood and walked over to his coat and Molly felt panic climbing up his throat, animal fear, _this is it, he’s going, he doesn’t believe you, he thinks you’re not serious-_

Caleb stepped back over to Molly and kneeled down in front of him. In his hand was a small, black leather box. A completely different kind of dizziness overtook Molly.

“Don’t you dare,” Molly whispered, pressing his hand to his mouth, more tears already springing to his eyes. Only half lucid, he wondered how he could possibly have any more left in him.

“I was going to give you this at dinner.”

Caleb flipped open the box and Molly’s eyes fell on a beautiful polished gold band, inlaid with a small white diamond, flanked by a ruby and an amethyst.

“I planned to give you this at dinner, when I asked you to marry me. I am not half in when it comes to you, Mollymauk. I’m committed. I’m crazy about you. And whatever you land on in terms of this pregnancy, I will be there by your side, if you will have me.”

Molly finally let himself cry. He crawled off the bed into Caleb’s lap and wrapped himself around his love and just sobbed. He was relieved, he was overwhelmed, he was ecstatic, he was terrified, he was exhausted. Caleb rocked back and forth on the floor with Molly, clutching him tight, until both their tears ran out. Caleb couldn’t stop smiling as he took Molly’s hand and slid the ring onto his finger.

“It’s so beautiful,” Molly sighed.

“If it wasn’t, would you have said no?” Caleb teased.

“Maybe.” Molly grinned and kissed him, deep and tender. “You’re not just giving me this because you knocked me up, right?” Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled.

“I commissioned it two months ago, so, no.” Molly admired it for another moment and then put his hands on Caleb’s shoulders and pushed him flat on the bedroom floor, sending the empty black box tumbling across the floor.

“How long do we have before we ought to get ready for the lovely dinner you have planned for us?”

“Two hours?” Molly leaned down and kissed him hard.

“I’m going to use every minute of it,” he growled.

They were still a little late for dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> Author lives on kudos and comments! Will update tags as we go. :)


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